Clear as mud by Claire_sky

An oldie but a goodie …

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Yeah right. (Tui ad?)

Good on you for starting a journal Claire. I hope it helps you.

I know sometimes it feels that we have buggered things up with the people who are around us. But there if sunlight behind those clouds - there are always new people that come into your life. Plus I think if we change the way we project ourselves, we can even make those around us re-evaluate how they feel about you.

We can't change the past but we do have control of our future (unfortunately this depression BS can make us feel like we don't have much control, but the reality is we do)

jaffakiwi wrote:

We can't change the past but we do have control of our future (unfortunately this depression BS can make us feel like we don't have much control, but the reality is we do)

Thanks for that JK, I actually started a post a couple of days but couldnt quite finish it. "Control" is something that i struggle with. When watching tv I never hold the remote control as i dont like that there are too many choices of different chanels to watch (some will argue NZ tv sucks tho) But for me there are too many choices. So in saying that do control and choice go hand in hand?

I wonder who has the remote control for my life? I quite often want to rewind, fast forward, pause and sadly stop. I used to love being the ambitious outgoing "ill give anything a go" type person but now im quite happy to let others make decisions for me even really really simple pathetic decisions that any normal person should be able to make on their own, but yet i cant. I cant stand supermarkets, video/dvd stores, libraries, malls, shops etc. Probably because there is too much choice and it overwhelms and sends me into anxiety and panic attacks.

Just last night state of origin was on, (rugby leauge) anyhow it reminded me that a few years ago I would have happily been down at the local pub slugging down the booze and swearing at the ref just like any other sports loving fan! I was a sports nut i played every sport going was always busy training on tuesdays and thursdays games on friday and saturday and still managed to drink like a fish! God i cant even walk a flight of stairs now with out getting puffed as i now smoke like a damn chimney! Ha! I was in control but i made bad choices and these choices soon controlled me.

I want my control back and i have started but its baby steps, i have to take control of my life again and get sorted. I need to remember the things i used to enjoy and things i was proud of. I dont know where i got this from but "happiness starts in the home" but i have decided to work on my home life and my house hold by doing the chores and making it a safe happy environment again. There i did it. I used the remote control to change the chanel to a new one but also a familar one that I might, no, i will enjoy.

Claire, you may not even be aware but, you hold the remote, unless of course you let others take it off you. You have the power.
To replay is to watch, to pause is to think and when you find to fast forward, well I believe, you can repair. You know the saying stop the bus I wanna get off, well we all feel that, but first we need to find why we need to get off.
Hugs to you.

Hey I like what you said peter!