How Dare ....Bloody Depression ROB me of my LIFE!!!!!

TODAY I am BLOODY mad at this God-Dammed Fricken Depression!

I feel heart-broken that I have LOST SOOooooo much love and happiness towards my young family!

My gorgeous daughters just carry on, regardless of their stupid mother lying in the bed, wishing like hell she didn't have to get up and drive them to school, as she would rather just stay in bed and hide.

AND I cant even remember the last time I gave them a hug (genuine 1 from the heart)---its probably weeks if not months!, I'm just numb and have had no warm fuzzies inside me, no busting with pride when they do well at school or gymnastics - I just go thru the motions of getting by - and thats IT!

Have just finished work right now and its late - 11.41pm - have come home to find little home-made cards & letters for me 4 Mothers Day sitting on the couch, along with my pillow and a blanket, as thats where I mainly sleep nite after nite.

How can these girls love me??
They are only 10 & 12, and think this is "normal"
how BLOODY sad!

not sad just reality...children have a happy knackof seeing people for who they are. Mothers are loving no matter what generally in their eyee...and they adore you back

It's good that you get mad at depression!!! it motivates you, makes you reflect. Your girls love you....it's written in their cards and in their caring touch of keeping you warm.

((((HUGS))))) from one mother to another who battles with depression.

If you can hold your children today.....hug them tight

I think it is good to get mad a depression too...you know what I think we all need? A big punching bag!

big hugs to u angiebabe and happy mothers day

your girls love you no matter what you do the proof is the handmade cards etc

my own mother has suffered from depression my whole life and when i was 12 she had a nervous breakdown and was admitted herself into hospital..back then mental illness wasnt a open subject and i was very ashamed-i wont deny that. but even then (your daughters age) i did what i could to help mum--she sounds very simaliar to you. i cannot speak for your daughters,but being in their situation i have grown up with a hell of a lot of respect and admiration for my mum. im extremley proud to be her daughter,she has fought her own hard battles and still has her hard days...but i try to support her the best i can. i wont deny sometimes she frustrates the hell out me but its something i cannot change and eventually learn to deal with it.

its the small things (i believe) that make children happy (when a parent is suffering from depression) a hug,a smile,telling them u love them or just spending time with them.

anyway, i guess im trying to say,dont doubt ur daughters love for you-its clearly evident -even if u dont hug them i believe they are well aware how much u adore them (i always new with my mother)

Hi Angiebabe, it's pretty healthy to be angry at the depression - one saying is - 'get angry or get depressed'. Often there is some suppressed anger within depression. And yes, it steals a lot!

One of my thoughts is - have you explained to your girls that at times you're not very well and get extremely tired and grumpy. Kids understand a lot - and this could ensure they don't feel guilty, or it's their fault in some way. (You've probably already done this explaining)

Lovely about the little cards they made. Very special.

Hope you're soon feeling a lot better. Hugs, Daze

AWe Thanks you guys!

Esp "wizza" cause you have been there & done that! and thankyou SO much for expressing how you coped with your Mum---that gives me a little insight into the workings of little girls!

how are ya now angie baby?

but it sounds like your life is back with your time in fiji!!