Vent

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Vent

Post by woppow on Fri May 01, 2009 7:14 am

Sorry I just need to vent.


A few on here know about my ex, and some stuff about him. and yeah.....

anyways, he just showed up today. I was sleeping. for the first time in a while. he pulled up the drive. - music bloody loud. At first I was sleeping. and then I woke up to hearing someone doing burn outs. I got up went to the loo, went there was a knock at the door. and there he was just standing there. I was in my boxers. - The only one home. and he saw me. frown So I went opened the door said hi. and then I couldnt say get out, leave me alone. - I am not that kind of person. and I didnt want to get him angry. I told him take a seat in the lounge. (same people know hes seen me in less then boxers) he followed me to my room. started kissing me. I was like ewww, But still didnt do anything. I said something like I need a smoke. so we went outside for a smoke (which I have just noticed he has pocketed 3/4 fill pouch of tobacco!!!!! so like 15 buxs worth. and he tryed nicked a lighter which is worth 45 buxs! but then I went inside. He said he wanted to see my bedroom wall. I didnt trust him in my room, so I followed. anyways. he left.


But that really really really annoys me. and he even had the guts to ask me for 30buxs to pay for petrol so he could come out here more. mad

I havent seen or heard from him in 1 year and nearly a month. and here he just rocks up. Now I am confused. about it all. Like why did he come back? whats changed? What did he hope to get out of coming ? why didnt he leave the first time I didnt open the door? What esle could of he nicked?


I am now really looking forwards to respite (this weekend, sat and Sun night which is why I wont be online then). He scares me. and atleast I know he doesnt know where the respite house it. There was just something about him. that made me feel it wasnt the last time I was going to see him. peeved I was/am not even coping with the last time I saw him (some people will know why. But I dont want to go into detail on here, as anybody could be reading)


Gosh, everything in my life is crumbling around me. - Quitting my job. Not having many friends. and the ones I do have want to die. - recently been talking to Lechelle. I dont know if she is alive. or got taken in again. Olivia is freezing me out. I hardly see my folks, when I do I am angry at them for not being home. I am not eating. I am only have a little bit of sleep.
Everything is just sooo hard. I wish I was able to go on A.Ds or even mood stables.
I have cried more this week then I have withing the last 6months. and even ended up cutting the other night. - which I have done in AGGEESSS

Sorry its long, I am just really lost. And angry at my EX
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woppow

Number of posts : 168
Age : 25
Location : Christchurch
Registration date : 2009-04-12

http://www.makeadifference.co.nz

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Re: Vent

Post by logical-cents on Fri May 01, 2009 7:30 am

First of big ((((((hugs)))))) to you. Sounds like you're going through bit of a rough time. I know what ex's are like. My last one's in jail now. Have you been able to talk to your doc bout going on some sort of medication or do they not want to put you on any? I know some docs don't like putting younger people on anti-depressants. Some docs told me that my doc shouldn't have put me on any when I was 17 because of the risk involved in them.

Anyway you know that there are lots of people on here that are supportive and are here if/when you want to talk. Cuttings not going to help, but you probably already realise that and I'm not going to give you a lecture about it because I do it myself. And before I start rambling on about a whole lot of stuff here's some more ((((((hugs)))))) for you.
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Re: Vent

Post by Guest on Fri May 01, 2009 8:51 am

Woppow what a fan-bloody-tastic photo!

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Re: Vent

Post by Guest on Fri May 01, 2009 12:33 pm

Hey there Woppow

Wanted to give you some Hugs (((((HUGS)))))))

Keep yourself safe..even if he sees you - you never have to open the door for him EVER again. Dial 111

I'm pleased you are going to have some relief time - soak it up. You are beautiful I can see that in your photo.

Be kind to yourself, I love you

Poetry
flower

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Re: Vent

Post by Guest on Fri May 01, 2009 1:10 pm

Yeah I thought it was a nice photo too Smile

Wop being assertive can be one of the hardest things to master, but when you've got it it can make your life so much easier. Make sure you know the different between being assertive and being aggressive. You'll respect yourself, and others will respect you a lot too if you can clearly communicate what is acceptable to you and what is not.

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Re: Vent

Post by Guest on Fri May 01, 2009 4:01 pm

hey wop, hope your ok...

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Re: Vent

Post by woppow on Fri May 01, 2009 4:02 pm

What are u doing up at 4am? Yeah, I am ok, I am just thinking what to reply back...
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woppow

Number of posts : 168
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Re: Vent

Post by Guest on Fri May 01, 2009 4:08 pm

we have had some bastards turn up outside our house with their radio booming..they are yahooing and being general prats. woke us all up so I am going to have to go and get my boys back to bed

I really do love the new picture too! what are you doing up so early.

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Re: Vent

Post by woppow on Fri May 01, 2009 4:10 pm

Me, I dont sleep. - when I am this down. which makes things worse.
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woppow

Number of posts : 168
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Re: Vent

Post by woppow on Fri May 01, 2009 4:10 pm

and thanks about the picture, and everyone else who said they liked it.
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woppow

Number of posts : 168
Age : 25
Location : Christchurch
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Re: Vent

Post by Guest on Fri May 01, 2009 4:11 pm

Smile

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Re: Vent

Post by woppow on Fri May 01, 2009 5:43 pm

LC, I wish my ex was in jail. that way I wouldnt have to worry. And he deserves to be in there to! and not jst for what he has done to me.

Poetry, I get scared coz at my house we are relaxed on locking or even shutting doors/ windows. so I just I am scared he will find a way in. And I no longer have much trust in the cops.

JaffaKiwi. I wish I knew how to stick up for myself without treating the other person, or with hitting the person. or just plain name calling. I have grown up with people voiding auguring or if there was abit of tension then all hells breaks lose.

MyLife. I hope u got back to sleep.

Damn, I want to go to sleep. and never wake up


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woppow

Number of posts : 168
Age : 25
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http://www.makeadifference.co.nz

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Re: Vent

Post by Guest on Sun May 03, 2009 12:23 am

hi there Woppow,

Managed to get back to sleep, slept until 10.30 am What a Face affraid So must have needed it.

I hope you keep waking up... after getting an awesome nights sleep...unfortunatly for me I can get a good nights sleep and still feel shattered when I wake up...is that a depression thing?

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Re: Vent

Post by Guest on Mon May 04, 2009 9:56 am

Wop are you still there?

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Re: Vent

Post by woppow on Wed May 06, 2009 12:28 am

Yes I am. In the respite flat they dont have the internet. and I stayed an extra two nights.

Internet at home is down. so I am not able to come on much.


Mood = worse then before I went into respite. The one thing I was living for almost died. and very well could still died.


Parents are super annoying. I am at the stage I wana hit my mother! She just getting all up in my face.
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woppow

Number of posts : 168
Age : 25
Location : Christchurch
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Re: Vent

Post by Guest on Wed May 06, 2009 5:57 am

good to see you are back, and yes parents can be annoying,..at any age.

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