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Do I come across as fake?

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lil_miss_haley
britelite
Xanthousflame
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Do I come across as fake? Empty Do I come across as fake?

Post by Xanthousflame Fri Mar 27, 2009 4:26 am

Call it paranoia but i always feel like i come across as a fake do i? i have a hell of a time connecting or communicating with others and at times i use humour as a barrier not that i see that as being wrong but i cant just relax and be me sort of like being a actress always putting on a show clown
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Post by Guest Fri Mar 27, 2009 7:46 am

Often we are scared people will judge us if we show them the real us, espically as we struggle with depression. Its the age old adage that when people ask how are you doing most of the want a happy answer not the truth.

Also we role play a lot. We behave and act how we think people want us to. It is often like being an actress in a show.

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Post by Guest Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:44 am

Often I am struggling with life, and become very apathetic - I just dont care any more.

Sometimes its so hard to pretend your interested in others when really we just don't have the capacity to give a fuck...

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Post by britelite Sat Mar 28, 2009 4:40 am

Act 1. scene 4...(the light slowly lifts showing wrinkly skinny arsed 40yr old woman sitting on the couch talking into a phone)
WOMAN; hello?
MOTHER; hi hun, thought I would give you a quick ring and see how you are doing. You seemed a bit down yesterday and with your sisters wedding this afternoon I wanted to make sure you aren't going to ruin her day by being a moody killjoy.
WOMAN;(forcing a smile onto her face)no mum, Im a box of birds...I just had one of those days yesterday.
MOTHER;(voice sounding suspicious/accusing)one of those days? Are you trying to tell me there is something WRONG with you? Because MY family is completely free of those sort of hangups!
WOMAN;not that sort of thing mum...geez...no I simply had one of those days where nothing went in my favour, the day started with a flat tyre on the way to work...and it just went down hill from there! We all get them don't we? (laughs gently)
MOTHER; well thats all good then...I will see you at the church at 2.30 then, don't be late. Bye hun.
WOMAN; yep see you there. Bye Mum.
(the woman hangs up the phone. Camera closes in as a single tear traces down her face)
FADE OUT.

we all act Miss X...its so much easier than trying to get people to understand what we 'feel'...and of course you feel like a fake...you know that you aren't being your true honest self...which in turn does make it had to connect with people...that does not mean however that other people pick you as being a fake...and if you use humour a lot then you may well find you give people the impression that you are a light hearted person who doesn't take the world or yourself to seriously at all...kind of ironic.

please note; yes I am a wrinkly skinny arsed 40yrold woman...but other than that the above story is madeup...my Mum would not talk like that and...while I do have a sister...she has actually never been married.


Last edited by britelite on Sat Mar 28, 2009 11:54 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : cos I didn't want to give people the wrong idea.)
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Post by lil_miss_haley Sun Mar 29, 2009 8:41 pm

Its funny, the amount of people I know that have depression pass it off by being the clown, the one always happy etc. I was one of those and only a couple of people knew what I was truely like. When I was diagnosed with depression a lot of people were surprised because I was Haley, happy, laughing, willing to go out and do anything, loud, confident Haley.

What they didnt know was that was all a show to cover up how I really felt, I didnt want people to treat me different. In short I think we all do it and people don't think we are fake, thats just what we are like.
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Post by diggingdeep Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:51 am

I can relate to what you're saying lil_miss_haley, I tend to do the exact same thing.
On the inside I'm unhappy, screaming for people to see how I'm feeling... but my outside never matches my inside. I tend to put on the smiley face and reply "Oh I'm FINE" with a big smile when people ask how I am.

At times, I am the only person who really knows exactly 'who I am'.
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Post by Guest Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:49 pm

Quote 'My life is a performance for which i was never given any chance to rehearse"

Your are not fake.... you are you, it is hard being around others when down and trying to keep up a facade of happiness, 'joker', fun one to be around.

True friends will understand and accept....

Poetry


Last edited by poetry on Tue Apr 21, 2009 6:19 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post by daze7 Tue Apr 07, 2009 3:22 am

I can understand that 'feeling like a fraud' thing! I too am smiling, laughing, joking when with other people (some of the time). Now I feel it's just part of my personality, along with the other parts.

I experience 'diurnal depression' which means I feel worse in the morning, improving as the day goes on, and quite often depressed again at night.

It has taken me a long time to get used to (and accept) these mood swings - interacting with other people can 'break' the down thoughts and feelings. If you met me you'd never 'pick-up' that I am depressed!

Humour can be a defence mechanism. I feel that the only person who really knows me (apart from myself!) is my husband. ..... Daze
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Do I come across as fake? Empty I wonder the same thing about me

Post by Black Fairy Mon Apr 13, 2009 4:03 am

I always feel fake in fact for most of my life. I show people what I think they want to see. Its a hard thing to break out of doing have done so for so long. I'm afraid if I show the real me they won't like me. I don't know how to change the way i feel and just someday hope i will grow out of it (im 45 now so won't hold my breath) if anyone has ideas about this please let us know.
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Post by Guest Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:01 am

I do know how you feel. I really do. I'm only 19, but I feel happy some of the time and really wonder if I am what people call depressed, or am I just a fraud??

I've only just started to accept I may have depression. It's difficult to believe when I use to be so full of life and carefree.

I have very bad mood swings, and tend to lash out- A way to deal with things I guess. Makes me feel so much worse in the long run because the poeple who I lash out at are trying to help me and that's how I'm repay them.

So unfair on them. I don't deserve their help.

But I too, feel worse at night for some reason. I may be having a good day, then it hits bed time and I think and think about everything and anything, and it gets my mood right down.

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Post by Guest Thu Jun 11, 2009 11:16 pm

I think that depression is tied up with a number of things - stress, hormones (both male and female) and day to day demands. This in turn causes dark thoughts and "bad mood swings"

We don't like people seeing that we are 'failing' to cope so we put up a front.

We are not fake, we are just human.

We are not failing, we are just human.

We are deserving of help, we are just human

We do get tired, we are just human..

I think I have a message here - and yes I am just human too, as many of you know, I don't want to see a quack about my issues..

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Post by Books4NZ Fri Jan 08, 2010 4:21 pm

Wow.. I can sure relate to the posts here.. putting on a front to be happy/smiley/helpful/reliable/capable/etc/etc.. when inside I'm feeling on the edge of trying to cope to be like that..

Does anyone else find that it's just exhausting to be this way.. that after someone's gone home, or I've got home, etc.. I just crash and the smiles are far far away.

Though I don't wish it on anyone to be this way, it's almost a relief that I'm not alone in feeling/being like this..
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