*screams loudly*

Goddammitfreakinheckbloodyhellwhatthefark



The return of the bloody antidepressants and I was doing so freakingoddamnwell


STUPID FREAKIN POSTNATAL DEPRESSION!!!!

Sorry guys... just venting, don't mind me.

bastard having to deal with this shit!

remember,
use the drugs as
a food to function-normally,
its not the cure.

I love your name,
and you will unravel the mystery
of why you left home
in the first place.

Aww hugs DD

How is bubs?

She is absolutely brilliant thanks Haley. A bundle of gorgeous smoosh! Sleeps well, feeds well, is settled and happy...

Thats what I can't work out! I'm coping FINE with the children.... everything is happy and great at home..... so where the hell has this come from???

Doc reminded me that I didn't cause this, its out of my control. Ok, well thats just fan-frickin-tastic.... if I haven't caused this... what HAS???? He claims its my Seratonin levels dropping..... but why?

AAARRRRGGGHHHHHH
Thank gawd this venting chamber is here.

And Thanks GM..... the Happy Pills will never be a cure, I just need to find the cause.

Really helps just to be able to *scream* aye. Thats good to hear, dont think you posted details I remember you went over due tho?

I have no personal experience of post natal depression, but mum said she had it after my brother was born and was the same as you, kids werent the problem and didnt know what was up. Thankfully she came right!

I know that doesnt really help much tho

It does help to be able to scream.... really glad this place is here Nice to know that people here have some idea of how I feel, not many people on the outside of here seem to.

I did go overdue with my wee girl by 6 and a bit days. She decided she wanted to arrive when it suited HER.

I've been through this before, but have always had a 'reason' for it developing. This time I can't find a thing in my life thats triggered it.
Either I am not looking hard enough, or I'm flipping my lid!

If youre sincere and go all the way digga,
you may find like i did
that Depressions original cause
is Mankinds Original illness.
The Ego.

Depression for me has been a GIFT
as i have found Myself!
Of course i were concious of The Self inside me where my intuition came from,
but i had no way I could connect and stay connected in myself.
Self has helped me at the most dangerous times of my life
and also provided me with designs in the creative work that I do,
for the dollar.

I had already learnt that i mustnt get caught up in Religion
as Religions have their GOD to fill that ROLL,
and no two religions love each other like their Gods tell em to...
that were out of the question for me.

We have to work our SELF out OURSELVES.
For me belief is an indication of a split mind,
and not at all wholesome.
Ppl Kill for their Beliefs.

Hi there digging how are you now?

Still struggling at times Mylife, thanks for asking!
Feeling pretty down on myself at the moment, as my oldest son is going into counselling this week. Feel like the worst mother in the world, not being able to give him everything he needs emotionally.
I know, I'm not supermum, but I am HIS mum. The person he is supposed to be able to talk to whenever things aren't happy in his little world.

I feel like I have failed him... I am a useless excuse for a mother

diggingdeep wrote:And Thanks GM..... the Happy Pills will never be a cure, I just need to find the cause.

The Cause is the plight of Mankind in fact!
Find the Original Illness
and you heal yourself.

You then see all forms of intermediary illnesses that mankind have
as a departure from oneself!
Uniting with oneself is infact
the meaning of healing.

Divining is important
as in devining we are heading in the correct direction
to whense we have come from.
Looking inside is devine.

You are right the cause needs to be cured, and not with happy pills.

But you are wrong, you are not a bad mother.

I felt like that when my 9 year old told me at the tender age of 7 that he wanted to kill himself.

And he told me very graphically how he was going to do it.

I plummetted dreadfully.

how are you going digging deep fortunately both of my boys have stopped being 'down' over the lst year or so..when I started to appear to be happier on the outside.

Wow, I had forgotten all about my rant and rave here. Has been a long time since I've allowed myself to venture back again

Am doing ok now. Wee babe that the depression appeared after is almost a year old.
Life has certainly been filled with ups and downs. Some days are a struggle, and others fly by full of happiness and laughter. Not sure if its life being so unpredictable, or me really

Haven't been on meds for awhile, and my biggest 'hurdle' at the moment is getting my husband to realise that even though I am 'down' and having what seems like a bad day.... thats NOT a reason for me to start back on the pills again.
A bad day is purely that, a bad day. He has them, and no one makes HIM reach for the pills to change that, so why am I expected to?

I refuse to be defined by the Depression and the Pills. That is not WHO I am, it is purely something that I have to live with. I am ME... a mother, a loving wife, a great friend, an artist, a lover, and so so SO many other things. I am not Depression.

hi diggingdeep

beautiful to hear you are so so so so so so so improved!!!

you are a very lucky lady to have a hubby like yours...one who cares and watches out for your wellbeing...but I can well imagine that it would get a bit grr trying to get him to truely understand you are allowed low days like everyone else and he doesn't need to take that as a sign you are backsliding
give him a huge as hug when he does this this and thank him


take care of yourself and your family hun