goddam freakin heck!!

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goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Twinkle on Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:31 pm

Goddam it all!!! Im so freakin sick of the way my silly little life has turned out!!!! WTF happened?!?!? Who in their right mind is jobless and still liivng with their mum at my age!!! goddam stupid lack of jobs inthis stupid little town!!! even if i could possibly handle a job im still not a people person!!! arrrrggghhhhhhhhhh!! I dont even know where to start!!! i dont know the first step to take to even get out of the house and do something!!! there is nothing to do even!!! im so screwed!!! this situation sux!!! im so pissed off!!! arrrrgggghhhhh feeeeeccccckkkkkkk!! xcuse my french!


ahhhhh good to vent. still pissed off tho. stupid life! GGRRRR
Sorry if i have offended anyone, needed to get it off my chest.
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by greasemonkey on Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:48 pm

welcome.

Vent away,untill you laugh at what comes next!
Never apologise ventilating your interiors of dross.
We do House cleaning dont we?
Your Soul sits at the bottom of the artesian-well and digging we do in venting!

dig deep Twinkler
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Guest on Wed Feb 18, 2009 6:41 am

Hugs twinkle.
Something I'm learning lately to stop comparing myself to others, and trying to live up to their expectations.

You may not feel it, but you have more control of your life than you think.

Guest
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Twinkle on Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:41 pm

Man i wish i had a life
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Twinkle on Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:41 am

FFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Goddammmmmmmmiittttt! Stupid stupid stupid friend!!! do u give a damn?! no! should i give a rats fricken arse about your stupid little problem!!!!????!!! no!!!!! FEEEECCCCCKKK!!!!! My problem is worse than yours!!!! not having a bf is not the same as not having any friend!!!!!! GEEEEZZZZ who the hell do u think u are telling me that!!! SHT SHT SHT SHT SHT!@!!!FFFAAARRRRRRKKK
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Twinkle on Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:42 am

Bad day. my apologies.
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by greasemonkey on Sun Feb 22, 2009 12:53 am

accepted.

best to get it out
and clear the slate
for anotherday of not neccessarilly
doing the same things,over and over.

we do stuff
and gradually
alter our ways,
as we become
clearer about
life!
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by lil_miss_haley on Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:37 pm

Hugs twinkle, I hope you feel better getting that out (gives twinkle rocks to thru at stupid friend)

I hope today is 100 times betterer then yesterday x
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Twinkle on Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:21 pm

thanks. but no it is not
im so sick of not knowing what to do!!! why cant i just figure out the next step to take?! i noticed this morning the chair in front of the computer has got a big butt indentation in it! i would be a millionaire by now if i was getting paid to sit here in front of this screen like i have been! I just dont know what to do!!!!!!!! dammit!!!
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by daze7 on Mon Feb 23, 2009 12:16 am

Hi Twinkle ........ Do you want some suggestions for 'what to do' .... I can only tell you the things that have helped me ... just say the word! .... Daze
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Twinkle on Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:00 am

yessss pleeeeaaasssee!
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Guerrilla Roach on Mon Feb 23, 2009 1:51 am

What do you like doing Twinkle? Is there anything that you thought you might like?

Inward does freedom lie
Inward is where to look
Inward is who you are

Also, what are you good at doing? You may well be able to get paid sitting in front of a computer.
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Twinkle on Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:09 am

I love history, sit all day researching "stuff" historical sites, local histories etc, not qualified in history tho cant afford to get another student loan, my first is already over 50k and i dont have an income to even start paying that one off! Im so glad they wrote off interest!! I would be bankrupt now if they didnt!
Im having such a bad day today, this hole keeps getting deeper and deeper the more i think about it! Just want to cry Crying or Very sad but i never do : confused
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Guerrilla Roach on Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:28 am

((((((((((Hugs)))))))))) Twinkle.

What was your initial study in?
Did you garduate?

History is a pretty cool subject. I'm into it too. You say you're a good researcher. That is a very transferable skill.

Also, it seems that you are pretty over Whangarei. Have you considered moving, or is that not an option at this time?
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Twinkle on Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:17 am

i graduated in Media studies /Film production. Havent worked in the industry for around 5 years tho. Im not a fan of whangarei at all, dont know anyone here, moved up to be my grandma's caregiver, after she passed i didnt know what to do, and am now stuck in a HUGE FUGLY RUT but stay here for my mother who is also alone. Wish i could move but am worried for her too.
kinda hard and very wierd situation to be in.
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Twinkle on Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:19 am

starting to calm down a little oddly enough......
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Guerrilla Roach on Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:37 am

Have you checked out the museum? It's run by the embattled Scott Potham. The local council is not his biggest fan, but he is still in charge there and a very good and nice man. I know him very well. He may have a job for you. Check it out.

Media studies. Smile I did a bit of Mass Communications at Canterbury. Was a cool subject. I ended up with a sociology/political science degree + a masters in Social Work; and a HUGE debt also Smile.
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Guerrilla Roach on Mon Feb 23, 2009 3:39 am

This is an awesome place to vent. Your experience may be unique, but you are not alone. (((((HUGS)))))
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by greasemonkey on Mon Feb 23, 2009 6:50 am

you're in just the right position
to write granMas history.
By caring for pl the way you do,
puts you in the 'inside position' for writing
the Family Story

People do this for a Living here; my MIL got one created on Her life
before she decided it were time to Die.
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by daze7 on Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:40 pm

Hi Twinkle, First I want to say GR has some good ideas.

I do not know what type of depression you have or whether anxiety is the major factor - the two often go together.

Have you a counsellor (or therapist)? Or have you had one in the past. I believe it it so beneficial to have someone who can 'walk beside you' for a while.

I'm a great one for BOOKS but I know they're not everyone's 'cup of tea'. Here are some that I have found helpful.

Brian Knight's 'Your feelings are your Friends' is a good one. Iris Barrow has written some very good ones. '15 steps to overcome anxiety and depression' is one - 'know your strengths and be confident' is another (there are more). Dr Claire Weekes is another good author. 'The Artist's way' - Julia Cameron. Susan Jeffers 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' and 'Dare to connect' are another two - there are so many and one often leads to another. Other people will have their favourites too!

Courses and workshops are a great idea - good confidence builders - vounteering also can meet a need. Are there any night classes that appeal? Yoga is great - cooking courses, interior design - the list goes on!

What is keeping you staying with your Mother (I don't mean to imply it's not OK to stay with her)? Just exploring reasons is healthy.

I know it is not easy to just 'up sticks' and move somewhere else, but that's another idea to explore.

Are there things that you've learnt in the past (through counselling or similar) that you can put into practise again. I know it takes a lot of energy sometimes to do even the simplest things - like get up, get dressed etc, etc ..... ! But keeping some 'structure' in the day is sometimes a good idea.

There's a saying in the field of addiction (and anywhere else for that matter!) .... Nothing changes if nothing changes!!

I have to some extent done all of the things written above. I became a 'course junky' for a while ... Lol ... but my enquiring mind had been set free and I sat like a sponge, gathering in information!

So Twinkle - what do you need to do in order to 'fly free' .....

I give you these suggestions with love, .......... Daze
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Twinkle on Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:11 pm

Hey thanks so much for all the great advice you guys. Wasnt going to log in today.... feeling rather embarrassed at my rant and rave yesterday. And i cannot apologise enough for how pathetic and small it was. But today cant stop crying - which is unlike me to cry in the first place. So must be having another bad day, was happy when i woke up and made plans to go to town and then made the mistake of looking at courses and jobs.
Man i suck. Many thanks again tho for the help.
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by daze7 on Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:29 pm

Hi Twinkle, no apology needed. It's just 'where you were at' - probably all of us feel like that at times. The crying is just a release - it is probably really good for you! Releases lots of tension. hope the day 'picks up' for you .... Daze
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by Guerrilla Roach on Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:41 pm

1st; thanks Daze Smile

Hi Twinkle

No need to apologise. We all need an opportunity, from time to time, to rant. Everyone here understands that.
Crying is a great release and a very constructive way to work through ill feeling.
You do not suck!!!!!!!
Please stop putting yourself down for being human. I find it helpful to focus on the good things, attributes, deeds, etc.... This approach has worked wonders for me. I bet if you made a list of all the great things there are about you, you'd probably surprise yourself with how awesome you really are. We all are. The negative that kills us is not meant for us. Already I get the sense that you are a very intelligent and resourceful person. (((((HUGS)))))
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by claire_sky on Tue Feb 24, 2009 9:32 pm

.


Last edited by claire_sky on Thu Mar 26, 2009 1:52 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

Post by greasemonkey on Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:13 am

speaking out in here is liberating.
When you feel (if your feel)over-done(over-exposed)
use the [edit] beside the [QUOTE] button
and scrap it.

Otherwise,
enjoy the support of your fellow journeyersssss.....
where being truthful is owning
ones power.
love
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Re: goddam freakin heck!!

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