Not New Really :(

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Not New Really :(

Post by Blackfairy on Fri Sep 06, 2013 8:23 am

Its been a long long time since I posted anything here. So long in fact I could not remember my user name or pass word. It was 2 years ago I think just before my daughter got married. So so much has happened since then. I got made redundant in June last year had the worst ever breakdown and 1 attempted suicide (so in total that's 2) We had to sell our house and we have moved twice since July last year. My youngest daughter moved to Wellington to attend Vic Uni so both girls are living their own lives. I don't know if it was the right thing to do but I got ACC involved and after a lot of angst ACC decided to fund some counselling but not before I had a 3 hour interview with an ACC approved bitch of a Psychologist I was very traumastised. I say I'm not sure because they made me get rid of my first counsellor because they didn't think she was giving the right 'Outcome results' They said the choice was up to me hah what a joke in fact they made it pretty clear that they wouldn't fund any more sessions unless I changed counsellors. So I was stuck between a rock and a hard place considering we only are a one income family now we couldn't afford counselling. So to cut a long story short I have a new counsellor - a male which is a first for me. You might say I'm a work in progress. Also I am now on suicide watch as I told him finally that I had a plan to go ahead and surprise surprise he wasn't happy. He doesn't like to be wrong. I have had a total of 12 sessions with him and in that time my medication has been tripled by my doctor who is now demanding I see him once a month because he is concerned. I have days when I cant get myself out of the door let alone out of the gate. There are also days when I don't get dressed and slop around in Jamas and a dressing gown. I am unable to work any more even if I could get a job. A lot more has happened but re reading my post has made me more depressed than I am already.
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Blackfairy

Number of posts : 1
Location : Auckland
Registration date : 2013-09-05

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Re: Not New Really :(

Post by Apricot on Sat Sep 07, 2013 3:53 am

Hi Blackfairy.

Its not easy, nothing about depression and life when we are stuck in it is.

I often am in jammies to midday or even later too... is hard to get out our own way when we feel weighted down by pain... and its like being stuck in quick sand up to our ears really.

I find myself just so grateful for tiny wee things, like watching the birds I like to feed, or feeling the sun on my skin... I struggle often to get things done about the house, or anywhere for that matter.

Take care.

Apricot.
xo
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Apricot

Number of posts : 215
Location : South Island
Registration date : 2009-12-03

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