struggling

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struggling

Post by hdevery on Sun Aug 25, 2013 7:34 am

Hi all,
I've never been on one of these before!
I am 23 and my husband was diagnosed with clinical depression in april the day after our 2 year anniversary. He has had it since he was around 12 and never known until now.
The good times are amazing and so worth the bad times but I just don't know what to do in the bad times.
An example was tonight.. somehow he went from being happy and excited to go to church to wanting to curl up in a ball and watch movies by himself all night.. somehow when we went to get a drink I 'embarassed him' he had wanted to get something expensive and i said we couldnt afford it but then he got sad so i thought to make him happy to say he could get the first thing but then he felt that embarassed him and he got in a big mood and wanted to go straight home!
I find it hard i suppose knowing what is the right thing and wrong thing to do in so many situations. It sounds so little and small but it just feels like such a big thing at the time! I find it hard when he seems so happy one moment and then I will say one thing and not realise it will affect him in such a big way and it just completely changes how he is feeling!
And it doesnt help that everytime he gets sad i start crying because i dont know what to do or how to help!!
Sometimes i just feel too young for this.
Sorry.. i dont know how much i am supposed to write on these things..
Thanks..
also my whole family live in the UK including parents and brother so I dont really have them to turn to and our best friends just moved away from our city!


Last edited by hdevery on Sun Aug 25, 2013 7:42 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : adding some info)

hdevery

Number of posts : 2
Location : auckland
Registration date : 2013-08-25

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Re: struggling

Post by zin on Mon Aug 26, 2013 12:15 am

Hi dear, hugs and welcome to the forum. It sounds like you are both having a tough time dear. Is your husband able to get some counselling help? If so, it might pay to ask if you can go with him, the counsellor would have strategies that would help you to help hubby. Either that or could your doctor refer you to the mental health people? Are you able to talk to your minister/pastor in case the church can help too? I know I am asking a few questions, but am trying to help dear. It must be so hard having family so far away. I have been very ill myself with depression, on a relatively even keel at the moment, so have some idea. It does get better with the right medication and help, so hang in there.... Socialising can be hard when one is depressed, which could be why he just wants to curl up in a ball.
Loads of hugs dear, and all the best, thinking of you, Zin
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zin

Number of posts : 92
Location : Waikato
Registration date : 2010-09-22

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Re: struggling

Post by hdevery on Tue Sep 03, 2013 3:15 am

Hi thanks for the reply!
Yes hes getting counselling and hes just started his 3rd type of medication so hopefully this one will help better than the last two! I also see a counsellor every so often which is helpful Smile He seems to be enjoying his counselling sessions, or not enjoying them but seems to be getting a lot from them which is good. We had a pretty good weekend its just never knowing when hes going to feel up or down thats a bit stressful but we will get there. I suppose we just have to find a way to best deal with it in our lives! And I just have to be there for him when he needs me!
Thanks again!

hdevery

Number of posts : 2
Location : auckland
Registration date : 2013-08-25

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Re: struggling

Post by zin on Tue Sep 03, 2013 3:24 am

Hi !!!! I do hope the new medication will help. I know how awful it feels to be on medication that wasn't working, and how much better it was once I was on the medication that was right for me. I know counselling has helped me too. Mr zin has been a couple of times with me, which has been good, and our church folk have been pretty good too. It can be hard when you feel stuck in the cycle, I do hope things improve a bit! I know exercise also helps, walking with Mr zin is good for us both.
Lots of hugs, it is worth hanging in there dear
Zin
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zin

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Registration date : 2010-09-22

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Re: struggling

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