Just need to talk with someone

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Just need to talk with someone

Post by jan16 on Fri May 31, 2013 11:23 am

I am depressed with post natal and anxiety. I've only been twice to my counselling sessions in the 3 years i've had this and have never taken the medication i was prescribed. I've tried to think positive and that never works because i don't have a good support system around me. Mum is schizoprenic and at times i fell like i will turn to be the same as her. I am a mum of 4 kids rangeing from 11-2years. My husband is not supportive at all. Has never looked up my condition or even tried to come to my appts. He is constantly putting me down and now trying to control me and not wanting my mum over to visit. He screams and yells in front of my kids. I have locked myself in the room for 3 days now and my kids are sad and i can see it but i dont' want to deal with my husband right now. He gets everyone on his side like my brother and cousins. They have been over today and i heard him say to them that she is sick and needs rest. They didn't even bother coming to see how i am in my room. I can hear my husband enjoying and laughing while i cry my eyes out and haven't eaten properly for 3 days. Atleast once a week we fight verbally and ends up hurting me and i go down at times to the point of thinking to run away or that i pray to god to give me a sickness or something to end my life quickly. I dont think about suicide no. I see my kids are sad when they see thus and it kills me even more but has no affect on my husband as he doesn't change his anger at all. He always says bad things about my family as he knows that tiggers my anger, he does it to hurt me. We have been going to counselling for family support not depression couselling and i feel as the couselling is always taking his side, she is always adding in how he is trying blah blah and i should be thinking positive always. She never gives advice to my husband. I will not be going back to her. She should be telling my husband to support me through this rough patch of time instead she tells me to support him! I have never had a good nights sleep always thinking or crying as we recently moved back to NZ from USA. My husband is from the USA and i married and lived there with him for 9 years. in between the years wedecided to give my home country a go and moved to NZ. we were here for 4 years and decided to return back to usa. When i moved back i was in a worse position than i am now, couldn't do a thing for my family, couldn't look after my kids properly, felt like i was jailed for life as i wan no longer familiar with the USA, every just seemed different for me. I was not what i could call home. I longed to come back to NZ and after begging and crying my husband agreed and we moved back to NZ. Now everytime an argument breaks out he blames me for his horrible life here. when i hear that i sink even more! and more! I dont have any friends or anyone to talk to . My husband has a social life and i don't at all. He can never see things from my view. I run the household, finances everything. he has an injured arm and is unemployed at the moment. he helps out with the kids and school but other than that i do the rest. I need a break and need a life but he really knows my weaknesses and puts me down where i don't even feels like talking, walking or doing anything anymore.
Sorry for the long ball of venting, had to try and get bits and pieces out, just feels like someone is listening to me even though i may not get any replies.
am i exaggerating myself, do others go through this?

jan16

Number of posts : 1
Location : Auckland
Registration date : 2013-05-31

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Re: Just need to talk with someone

Post by Katie248 on Fri Jun 14, 2013 10:13 am

So what would you want to happen to make you happy/nondepressed?

Katie248

Number of posts : 33
Location : new zealand
Registration date : 2012-07-10

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