I never had a Black Dog

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I never had a Black Dog

Post by 1nky on Tue Apr 02, 2013 12:52 am

I guys,

I just came across this site and thought I may as well make a comment or two regarding my new Black Dog.
Well in my case it is not so new. Rather it has been a discovery that I have had this thing for many years. I just needed to be at a particular point in my life to allow it to sink its teeth deeper into me. I think I first realized that something was wrong when I just started crying when siting opposite my beautiful wife at a restaurant in the Gold Coast. Once medication and support had brought me down to some level of normal (hey what's that) I secretly gave up my medication and carried on my life. A few months later when I found myself with my head in a plastic bag (exit one - O - one) I realized that there where some serious issues to be faced. From that moment forward I accepted that I had a substantial battle that need to be fought on many fronts. Luckily I had an army of friends and professionals to call into battle. In among all of this I suffered heart failure. This has been a bit of a bummer, as I have always been a very physical guy. Now I am down to just walking with no heavy lifting. Combined with depression it is an interesting cocktail.
Today, I am alive. I mean, really alive. Yes, depression is just around the corner and sometimes it is here with me in this room. When that happens I hop on a bus and change my physical environment. In other words........run!!!!
But no longer away from this Black Dog, I just put a led on it and take it for a walk.
I now stay on medication, I write about my experience of life and offer to assist others.
Over the period since this has been recognized as part of my life I have found many more who live as I do, and make the best of a bad burden.

For me, taking the dog for a walk has become my best management tool as has been accepting and recognizing that it is an illness that I can manage. Most times!!

Writing also helps me to move the unpleasant emotions from my head onto paper, and finally out of my system.

Am I happy? Yes.

Having stared down the throat of this Black Dog, and saved myself from being consumed (five times) I keep a steady hand on its collar and ensure my training keeps it at my heel. I hope one day to throw a ball so hard that the dog, while chasing it, forgets to come home. I hope!!

1nky.

1nky

Number of posts : 2
Location : Auckland
Registration date : 2013-04-02

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Re: I never had a Black Dog

Post by matty on Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:15 pm

hey 1nky, with you on the changing physical environment, ive been stuck a bit at home with no job to go to for a few months now and a newborn & wife at home, and just have to flee and do something or i just cant clear my head and get rid of the swamping of negative thoughts and emotions. good thinking with the writing, will try and do more of that Smile

matty

Number of posts : 1
Location : Wellington
Registration date : 2012-04-12

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