Struggling

hi, i've never done anything like this before so please bear with me if i say too much or not enough.

I am 24 and i am in a relationship with a man who suffers from depression. In turn, i feel as though i too suffer from it. This last week has been particularly bad. Normally we are very close, very loving and we make each other laugh but this week he just changed. He cant eat, he barely sleeps, hes detached from everyone, shaking, crying, often deep in thought.

He told me today hes sorry for hurting me and says he doesnt know if he loves me. Hes pushing me away to try and protect me and i have no choice. But i need to help him, i want to support him. I love him more than anything else in the world but he says he cant cope with being loved.

His counsellor says he needs to concentrate on himself in order to get better, and i agree, but she also says he needs to stop seeing me, which i dont agree with.

I have no one to talk to and its consuming me. I would appreciate any advice.

Thanks

Awww. Not sure what advice I can give, but hugs anyway, you must be hurting so badly. Loads of hugs again, Zin

I too have the same problem with my partner of 16 months. This is the second attack he has had in 6 months. It is the hardest thing for you to deal with. I to feel on the verge of losing control. He is pushing me away yet when I do try to go he doesn't want it. You need to look after you at this time. step back a bit and be kind to yourself. I know how you are feeling at this time. Just know you are not alone and it is the most heartbreaking time. My partner suffers sexual problems at this time and blames me and questions his love for me. What can I say, cry, yell, scream then breathe and start again the next day.!!!

Thank you so much for the replies.

It's good to know i'm not alone in this, not good obviously that we are going through it to start with though.

I went to the doctor this week to talk through the issues, like you said the sexual side, the blame, the pushing away. Going to the doctor really made me feel like my feelings were justified and i wasnt just being stupid. Unfortunately i have been diagnosed with having depression myself as well as anxiety disorder.

Im taking anti depressants and sleeping tablets. The anti depressants make me high as a kite but do actually help to numb some of the hurt i feel. All i can do is remind my boyfriend every day that i love him and we'll get through it together, however long it takes, just one day at a time.