Stupid Brain

Stupid, stupid stupid Brain, worrying ya arse off over something that
a) is good,
b) is necessary and
c) I can’t remember, but there is a ‘c’

Feck.

Oh yeah.
c) was, it proves what really special, caring friends you have, dipshit.

Bless’em. I am grateful, I really am, even if we all know that this sentence is going to end with the word ‘… but.’

Anyway, tis too late to panic ‘cos I have fulfilled my part of the process best as I can after a few faltering starts and the rest is now in the hands of others, much more clever than I.

Don’t worry about not understanding what I’m on about – I’m a bit discombobulated feeling, meself, sigh.

A potential conflict between some medications I’m taking has just come to light as they say, and this is the first time I can recall ever authorising a more than qualified friend to have a chat about ‘stuff’ with a medical centre on my behalf. Its nothing to do with ‘trust’ in the friend – that is total; I think its just shock from letting someone in quite that close and accepting that their help is definitely an advantage, not a loss of something. I more often push people away if they try to be friends. This 'letting' folk be friends, ain't as easy as it sounds.

See, told ya it was all stupid.

Paddy.

Paddy us types know what it is like to manage alone, We become our own little "control freaks" especially around our meds because we know and only we know what we feel like without them.

Friends are good. Even if their dipshits because we can use them as a benchmark as to how we are doing ourselves.

I hope that made sense lol your post did.

Hope things are going well for you Paddy. Martine I hear ya 'control freak' should be my middle name

My friends call my BBD a retard.

"What the hell's up with you? you having a retard day?"

"Yes we know you are a retard but you're our retard"

"Are you having a retarded moment? Can I help?"

On a good day I can laugh and just say no it''s my inner light shining.
On a variable day it can usually pick me up
On a bad day my friends either huddle real close and keep others away or if I need space my friends stay well out of arms reach and stop anyone from getting any closer.

Some of them know what it is all about and others just see me struggle and do what they can

I don't have many friends, but those I do call friend are a freakin awesome bunch of weird people and I love 'em to bits

And I just forgot the point I was trying to make........ I hope you got something usefull out of it anyway Paddy.

Oh!!! I can't brain today, coz I have the dumb!