You can survive it!

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You can survive it!

Post by Mennis on Sun Nov 18, 2012 11:23 am

Hi I just felt like this venting chamber needed the odd positive story as well!

Im 29 and have had depression, GAD and social axiety for over four years.........the past 6 months or so have been relatively depression free however, and my anxiety is virtually gone now - in fact I gave a presentation speech to about 50 professional people last week, also have been catching up with friends, going on dates, organising and playing in sports teams and lots of other things which I could never have done say 6 months ago.

I have been in some dark places and have come pretty close to ending it all on more than one occassion. I have been through my fair share of medication too including Citalapram, Moclobomide, Quetiapine, Lorazapam - my current medication is 300mg Venlafaxine + 30mg Mirtazapine which has been working pretty well for me.

The key for me has been doing everything I possibly can to get better and slowly I am starting to get there! I get up early and exercise every day, eat healthy, take my medication, go to psycho therapy weekly, do things I enjoy and make sure I keep in touch with my friends. I think its important to have someone you can talk to as well. For me its been my Mum - it was really hard to tell her what was really happening in my head to start with, but trust me you feel a hell of a lot better when you can get some of that stuff that churns around in your mind out in the open!

In the past few weeks I have felt better than I can ever remember feeling since depression took over my life some 4/5 years ago. Having said that I know I still have a long way to go and I will keep getting better (which is hard to believe having felt so shit for so long).

I used to think it was pointless trying to keep going and that I would never get through it. But I am living proof that you can get through it and life can be good on the other side. Its a long hard road and you keep getting knocked backwards but at some point you stop going as low and start coming out of the lows faster. Then after awhile you don't really even get lows. Then you get to where I am now.....life starts to become more interesting and it seems like there is something to live for. I still have negative thoughts and even the occasional suicidal one but the difference now is that I have some good techniques to challenge those negative thoughts and get rid of them as quickly as they arrived.

As I say I'm getting there but still have a long way to go. Hopefully this can help motivate someone else to keep pushing themself through it too. Two things worth remembering are:
1. Find the help you need. This is what JK says but is so true. If the first dr you see doesnt give you the right answers or you dont feel satisfied, go to another one, and another one until you find one that understands what you need. The same goes with psychotherapy etc - keep asking the questions until you get the right programme or person who fits your needs and you can relate well to.
2. Never give up. This is the hardest part, trying to motivate yourself to keep going and keep getting up every day. What you need to realise is that when you are depressed you dont think 'normally.' That is what you think, isn't necessarily true in reality. So when you start ripping yourself to shreds and telling yourself that youre useless, ugly, fat, whatever, just remind yourself its just the depression talking and that your thoughts arent necessarily true. The fact is that if youre depressed, its really just your bodys way of saying you need to make some big changes in your life, because whatever your doing now isnt working.

Lastly good luck in your mission to get well. I don't have any doubts whatsoever that you can get there, you just need to convince yourself that you can!

P.S. More that happy to yarn to anyone that is struggling or that just wants someone random to chat to and get stuff off their chest Very Happy


Mennis

Number of posts : 3
Location : Rotovegas
Registration date : 2012-07-08

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Re: You can survive it!

Post by Headless12 on Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:34 pm

Well done you Mennis.

It's a pitty I didn't realise you were on line last night, could have had a chat, though what we were both doing up at that hour instead of sleeping lol. I too have been up and down like the perverbial fiddlers elbow and spent most of last year working on an 'exit' plan, what put the kibosh on that was when the only thing left I had to plan was what to do with my animals, and I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing them again or being able to make sure they would be treated well and have a good life. That was when I realised, at grass roots level I didn't want to be dead, I wanted to be free of what was happening at the time. The only thing I could do was take a deep breath and choose to keep putting one foot infront of the other even though I couldn't convince myself it would get any better.

Just as well I did, there are still many hurdles to climb over, but no-one ever said you have to take a running jump and clear it in one go, and if they try I'm well enough to tell 'em to feck off. I will walk willingly to each hurdle, acknowledge it, look at it for what it is and if it really is a hurdle I will go up one side, across the top and down the other, and be a far stronger person for it.

Don't you give up either Mennis, you're doing well, congrats to you.

Headless12

Headless12

Number of posts : 21
Location : Wanganui/Manawatu
Registration date : 2012-11-14

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