what to do when you no longer trust your doctor

Even as i tried to write this ive already deleted it and started again. I feel lame for posting this cos there are others who are worse off than me.
My gp used to be really good and "on to it". Lately she has gotten pretty bad, ignoring me, talking over top of me or fobbing me off to another doctor cos she was going away.
My depression has gotten pretty bad, to the point that ive felt id rather be dead than live with the pain im in daily because of my endometriosis. She has totally ignored me when i have told her how ive felt, and after requesting a copy of my notes im so upset and angry and frustrated and disgusted at what she has written.
I have had two recent admits to hospital and both times she has been sent copies of my discharge requesting review of my meds for something stronger and both times she has refused and accused me of being addicted to the very drugs i have to force myself to take. When i tell her i struggle to lift the jug or walk to the toilet she puts in my notes that i sit around and eat all day.
I am so angry i want to scream and have had so many thoughts of self harm it aint funny. Even after she fobbed me off to another doctor because she was going on holiday, he refused to help cos he wasnt my regular doctor. I walked out in anger and had to really fight not to hurt myself because i wanted to punch something so hard i would break my knuckles again.
When i was in hospital i told the doctor i would rather be dead than put up with this much pain, but when i looked at my husband i could see his heart breaking and i feel so bad for that.
Im just at the point where im losing all trust in people again and feel like most would be better off without me and my constant pain and health problems.

ok now stop apologisng for a start!

then ask your friends family and workmates for recomendations and go and interview a few docs surgeries
just go in and ask some questions of the reception staff and get a general feel for the places

your doc sounds like shes the one with the problem and you shouldnt have to put up with it......and you dont...........so DONT!

Okay lecture over now

wanna hug?


too bad if ya dont ya getting one anyway!

(((((((((((((((((((((TEASPOON))))))))))))))))))))))

hi where abouts in chch are you? I see Sam Jerram in New Brighton and he;s great, my flatmate has being seeing him for like 10+yrs so when i moved down here she recommended I go to him as well. The whole centre there is really good and friendly.

Don't put up with it anymore, not for a single minute longer!!!!
Get some support behind you, friends/family/husband.... and start the hunt for a GP that is going to take CARE of you, not put you down.
You don't deserve that treatment, you're a human being and need to be treated with the utmost care and respect for what you are going through.

No one would be better off without you, whether you realise it or not, you are the light of many peoples life. Its hard to see right now, but I bet you I'm right

Hun you do not deserve that at all!! I cannot belive how your dr is treating you what a @#$ @#$#@ @#%$#&%$$.

There are good gp's out there, they just hide. Im sure you will find one soon, because there is no way that you deserve that. Your trying to get help from her and all shes doing is making it worse.

Many many many hugs and cuddles from us here, and your husband loves you xXx

Stand up for yourself and trust your judgement on this one. Use others' recommendations for a good GP and don't be afraid to change. You need someone who will listen to you and take you seriously.

(((hugs)))

Hiya Spoons,

Hard isnt it......drs become such an important person in our lives that we trust them implicetly and tell them all our secrets like we do our best and closest friends. So when things like this happens we feel so let down because we see them as a friend and mentor, kinda breaks our hearts and hurts as much as loseing a friend. Well it does for me anyways.
Hun its Hard I know but please remember we are here for you and you will find another dr/confident soon just keep asking through support of others. And it might take a few visits to different doctors to find one you are comfortable with but you will find one.

See you soon Spoons

Belle xx

aww man you guys, im crying reading your replies. I went to bed last night and couldnt sleep, was up and down all night thinking bout all this. I know you are all right but i guess im so scared of having to change gp because i have to explain my life all over again but now im also scared of changing doctor and them seeing what my gp has written in my notes. I want to confront her without blowing my stack but not sure how. Thank you all so much for your thoughts and hugs
I know my husband loves me and i always try to keep that love in mind because some days, he is the only thing keeping me alive cos i know it would break his heart and soul if i did anything and i cant do that to him because i love him too much.

hey teaspoon there are people in chat atm if youd like to talk....but reallyfor a doctor to make you feel this bad is not healthy. confront her but maybe take hubby or a trusted friend with you. and then move on if you can.....a new doc a new perspective.....just be as honest as you can!

Hugs

Monsta

I have to agree, make the move to a new doc, you may have to try a couple, but you will get there. I just changed recently, thought the doc was good, then next visit he was looking at putting me on some unrelated drugs and when going through the info it said not to give to people that have depression. When I mentioned to him that I get/have depression, he just brushed it off with "exercise will fix that".

I was gobsmacked. So yes I have changed docs again. This new lady seems ok so far, but I have only been too her once.

So do go ahead and make the change, you have the right to be treated so much better than that. A doc with an attitude like that is no use to you and doing you more harm than good.

Hugs to you. And best of luck with finding an awesome new doc ASAP. don't worry bout what she has in your notes, just talk to the new doc and explain what happened.

There are docs and then there are docs. They get mental too, and lose their grip. Sometimes I think that's when they start to take it out on patients. We show them they aren't immune from illness, even though they did all those years of med school and learned so many facts they forgot reality.
Teaspoon, you have probably been a lesson to your GP, one that she won't pass for a while. Move on to another practitioner. There are very good ones out there. Mental illness is hard for docs who believe everything they were taught. Find one who is able to think for themself. Have you looked up the complementary practitioners in your area? You may not be into complementary health. but a good one will think in a different way and work with conventional medicine. It may be a something to try while you look for another GP. Complementary health probably will not fix your health problems, but will help you do what you have to do now which is change this GP for another. I had a few of bad pdocs and some very good gps, along the way have been helped to keep going by a naturopath and massage therapist.

1teaspoon, just as an aside, a friend who suffers badly from endo is involved in a (national, I think) support group for this, were you aware there is one out there...?

Hi lowdown, Yep i am aware of the endo foundation but thanks for letting me know i have also started an endo group on yahoo to help others get support from their peers and as much info as possible.
Well i have to go to the doctors on monday for a bene review, i am not looking forward to it even tho i wont be seeing my gp. But once i have had my next op, on the 17th, i will be hunting for a new gp. i am going to ask for a meeting with my gp and confront her and tell her why i am leaving her practise. What she does with that info is up to her, but i need her to know why i am no longer happy with her. Hubby will also be leaving her practise as well so he will come with me and voice his reasons why he is leaving also.

Good on you.

I am still wondering about whether I have the energy to confront the A and E clinic doctor whom I had to deal with when I had my med-mistake meltdown a while ago, he really came through with the goods after he spoke to the psych team at the hospital about the symptoms I was experiencing...but spoilt it all by his comment once he got off the phone to them that...

"well, you'll be relieved to know that your symptoms are real."

What??????? Of course they were real, I'd been suffering them for three days, the eejit! What a thoughtless way to put it...

Reading between the lines, it was more like 'we get a lot of nutters in here off the street but it appears you are a genuine one rather than having us on'

Far Out I thought I was being unfair thinking my dr isnt taking me seriously anymore. The fact that Iv overlooked several rather important slip ups over the years came to a head last week when I got a bill for going back to the nurse for a 2nd opinion after being told by the dr my throat swab was normal. How can it be normal when the lump on my tonsil is red and yellow and sticks out a centimetre? I drive an hour to get there in the first place so Iv sourced the name of the Centres Head person and am sending her my angry response. The first slip up was the 8 month lapse in telling me my smear was dodgy. Well I lost my womb to that and luckily not my life.
On the depression subject, I took councelling for 7 years without drugs and tried to find a natural cure I tried everything that wasnt prescription from Hypnotherapy to Communication courses and I think Iv read 200 books now. Then my Councellor suggested I try antidepressants for a while and that they would put me on a bridge above my troubles and that Id still be aware of the issues but would be able to overlook some of the triggers, and she was right. The issue I have with that whole scene is that I could almost hear the door slam behind me after Id taken that first prescription from the dr, and since then Im aware that Iv had no support since. Its like once I accepted the pills thats the last they want to hear about me or 'it' and Iv said so in my angry letter to the centre. I feel they'v left me to my own devices but the WORST part is when Iv run out of pills and I ring up to ask for even a script for a weeks worth to be faxed through and the nurse has said no. NO? NO to a depressed patient? WTF's with THAT? It'd be different if I lived in town but its a $20 fuel trip and I cant just pluck that out of thin air.
I'll update you on the response if I get one. I wrote on the bottom of the letter ... Best Care? More like Who Cares!

Pixie thats horrible!! I am so shocked that there are drs out there that just dont care. I cant belive that their not caring and carelessness resulted in you losing your womb, and is discusting, and the fact they said theres nothing wrong with your throat?! Then to also dismiss you because of depression!!?! Its people like that who make depressed people keep it all inside, and think theyre being stupid. And I suppose being far away theres no other drs around?

Hugs hun I hope you get a response to your letter, and they do something to compinsate you for all yourv been thru

Take care,

Haley xx

Hey there Pixie,
that is dreadful behaviour from your docs. The problem with scripts is a nasty one. For some meds your doc needs to apply for a special authority or something and that can take time.
It's always good to do the bad ol' squirreling away of a few meds, just in case you can't get them in time or cannot do the impossible expensive checkin with the bitchy nurse. Maybe get a trusted friend to hold them.
Also some chemists will give you a few pills off a sample pack if they have some (they will just charge them to your bill) while you wait for the idiots at your medical centre to get their fingers out their ****.
Don't let the buggers get you.

Hi pixie, I sympathise with you, i know exactly where you are coming from. My last appointment with my gp, i was so upset and angry my hubby drove straight to his old doctor to see if we could get in there. At the time the answer was no as his books were closed but after hubby's mum visiting the same doctor and talking about how i have been treated he has agreed to take hubby back and take me on as a new patient. I have seen this gp in action and hes really good so im happy i got some resolution for my problem. I am still going to either write a letter or confront my old gp in person tho.

On a brighter note, after forcing the issue myself at the hospital during two admits for pain that was out of control, i now have my appointment for my surgery and it is this afternoon!! YAY!! After recovery i will have at least 3 years pain free and will be able to take some control back of my life and retrain to get back into the workforce!!

Hi again, well Praise be... I got a response from the head of the medical centre. Shes going to help me sort through the short list of grievances I have so I will report back here once some progress has been made.
Turns out my dr was unaware that the nurse had been turning down my script requests so theres a process to follow with complaints board system.
Turns out Im not the first to complain and they want me to do something concrete about it. so I will be forwarding a formal complaint this month.
Phew! I feel heard at last.
In the process of writing the letter to bitch about the slack service I realised my depression may very well be dirrectly linked to the 8 month lapse in them telling me my smear was dodgy and the subsequent loss of my womb and my relationship and my business that all slid into the black hole when I crashed.
So in being proactive I may have switched on a light for me personally. I hope so.
I am accutely aware that I have been damaged by the years of suffering I have endured since then. I keep crashing over the stupid little things that I used to be able to handle before I fell apart. This doesnt help my recovery, I feel like Iv been running in circles trying to find a door that wasnt there but maybe I did just find the reason I fell off and maybe I can find the person I was before instead of feeling less than and always wondering why I cant maintain a grip. The feeling that I dont have the essence of what I was before has weighed heavily on the last 9 or so years of my life. Iv blundered around in the darkness with F all support and thinking about it, One would think that SOMEONE could have stepped forward to hold my hand and sort it all out before now instead of leaving me to rot on an InValid persons benefit.
I had started a winning business and had been working at it for almost two years. The business was bringing in good weekly takings and I felt I was on the way to financial success in my life. Then CRASH
Far Out!
Its not like Iv sat on my arse and let life slide over me. I have struggled but maintained forward motion but its been one step forward two steps back it seems. Crashing several times a year since and just when I think maybe Im coming right some other stupid trivial reason sends me off the edge.
Lets hope this year brings me some better rewards for my efforts as an human being.

Hi Pixie1time, So good you're finally being listened to! I'm not surprised you've crashed - sounds like an awful lot of stressful things have happened. Lots of losses. Have you got a good counsellor at the moment - I believe it is best to have someone walk beside you for quite a while - and ask if you can have a 'top-up' of counselling when you need it. I realise this is sometimes really hard to get due to lack of resources etc. Have you read the book 'Living with it' - written by the same woman who wrote 'Taming the big black dog' - (after which this site is named??) Good luck with all the letter writing - which in itself can take an awful lot of energy. Perhaps in time you can 're-start' your business? .... Hugs for you, Daze

I have been to 6 different doctors in the last 2 years I have finally found a husband and wife team that I feel comfortable going to see either of them. Good Luck

how are you going with the husband and wife team?

Hiya All ... I'm at the point of changing my GP as well !

Really good ones are hard to find and I'm hoping to get one that can actually remember past conversations and the very reasons why they prescribed me certain medications ?!