when to decide to end your life due too loss of everything

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when to decide to end your life due too loss of everything

Post by gezzerkiwi on Fri Aug 17, 2012 7:52 am

Im a 33 year old guy who has destroyed his entire life due too deppression and anxiety , and not knowing who i am , i have always been alone in life , i have had alot of relationships , but all ended by the partner,
I was with my last partner for 7 years who i loved and we decided to get married , i was a terriable partner and i was very selfish , i lived off her , we decided to have a child , who i love, his name his Liam he is now 4 years old , i was very stupid and selfish and i made alot of mistakes i cheated on my wife when my son was 2 years old , and my wife left me and i lost everything , i used too work as a chef , but have lost too jobs due too my deppression , and anger at how unfair my life is ,
I have no freinds i never have , my only ever freind was my wife , i never had any other , i never joined any sports teams or community groups as i thought i was stupid and un welecome , i never knew who i am , i have stayed at home for 4 years crying and sleeping , and begging my family my mum too get my wife and son too come back but they cant , get them too come back , i now have lost my mum, my dad, my sister , her family , and my own family i have been told now that i have lost my home as my parents bought it so i can rebuild my life , but all i do is stay in bed as im too deppressed too leave the house , i dont know what too do , were too go what too eat or how too relate to life , i have lost everything i ever knew , and i really just want too kill myself , im on antideppressent medication , but it is not helping ,
everyday i am alone and lost i am stupid , and i am a complete failure , i dont know how too look after myself , i am like a child , i have always been , please tell me is there hope too be normal and too get a life back or create a new life alone , i love my son so much but am a failure PLEASE HELP

gezzerkiwi

Number of posts : 10
Age : 37
Location : HENDERSON AUCKLAND
Registration date : 2012-08-17

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Re: when to decide to end your life due too loss of everything

Post by deathsoonplease on Fri Aug 17, 2012 11:05 pm

You are not alone OK. An awful lot of people are in this position, realising that the way they were living just don't work.
As I read this I looked at my own existence and saw some similarities. There are many things you had that I never did, and I am not saying this to suggest my situation is worse than yours. I guess I am an expert when it comes to living alone.
Some advice re-medication: don't stay on it too long and get some therapy of some kind because meds are not a long term solution. You need to address the behaviors and feelings that drive them that caused this in the first place which you are already aware of so that is a big plus.
Loss hurts. no doubt about it and if you have any sensitivity and it seems you have due to your awareness, its going to ache. It's called grief, and it's a perfectly normal response. It's design to teach so we don't make the same mistake again. The good news is if properly managed it will pass and then the re-build can begin. Allow it to do it's work.
It's my belief that suicide does not solve anything. This is based on a spiritual principle, but in purely practical terms consider the feelings of those you would leave behind.
I hope this helps a little, you can PM me if you want to share more. I have great empathy for people who are suffering. It actually helps me.

deathsoonplease

Number of posts : 30
Location : whereever
Registration date : 2012-03-06

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Re: when to decide to end your life due too loss of everything

Post by Apricot on Sat Aug 18, 2012 12:02 am

Hi Gezzer,

Im sorry you are feeling so very low at present.

Stay with us, write...get those feelings out here....you are in a safe place, and many of us have been to the very pits of feelings you are feeling at present.

Hey,we have our bad days, and they are the worst feelings...but we stick with it....and in a day, or two, or a week, we can go up again.....thats how it is with me at least, I always swing ....

Just keep on keeping on...you have a dear wee child who needs you in there life. Look to the sun, or trees, the birds...all things from nature...they are filled with energy, even the worst of weathers....are powerful, amazing.....

Even when we dont think there is.....there is always someone thinking of us....and now you have us...

We are here...for eachother.

XO
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Apricot

Number of posts : 215
Location : South Island
Registration date : 2009-12-03

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Re: when to decide to end your life due too loss of everything

Post by Apricot on Sat Aug 18, 2012 12:13 am

a couple of auckland numbers I think...dont hesitate to call someone.

0800 800717

0508 828 865
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Apricot

Number of posts : 215
Location : South Island
Registration date : 2009-12-03

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Re: when to decide to end your life due too loss of everything

Post by gezzerkiwi on Tue Aug 21, 2012 11:35 am

thank you i just need a friend as i have no one

gezzerkiwi

Number of posts : 10
Age : 37
Location : HENDERSON AUCKLAND
Registration date : 2012-08-17

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Re: when to decide to end your life due too loss of everything

Post by Fluffy_Ducks on Thu Aug 23, 2012 1:48 am

we are all friends here
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Fluffy_Ducks

Number of posts : 121
Location : waikato
Registration date : 2012-06-14

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