I beg for your help please

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I beg for your help please

Post by mumtothree on Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:03 pm

Hi i know i have done this before but i really need your help, im at the end and i just dont know what to do anymore.

I have been so angry since i have become unwell i need your stories advise on how to cope with it, the meds are not working so dont see the point of them, i have rung a councillor but i need to hear your advise please.
I going to break.

I fly off the handle for no reason i yell and scream and getting scared im going to start lashing out, i try my cbt but cant work through as there is no reason that im angry all can be goping well and then i blow please i need help.
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Re: I beg for your help please

Post by jaffakiwi on Thu Dec 01, 2011 3:48 am

hi mum, is it possible that the meds are making you feel this way? Have you had a review lately?

Sorry you're feeling this way.

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Re: I beg for your help please

Post by mumtothree on Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:19 am

Thanks Jk No dr says it is not a side effect of the med so im stuck feel so helpless and alone.
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Re: I beg for your help please

Post by Paddy on Sun Dec 04, 2011 6:37 am

Doesnít sound like a lot of fun, how youíre describing things, does it?

That you are aware of Ďproblemsí is a help, but.

Iím going to suggest something really simple, because I know itís not easy to bite ones tongue and the more one goes on about things, the more one is likely to find fault and criticise, very loudly and unpleasantly. I speak from experience and pass on something I unexpectedly learned in Sunnyside Mad House in Chch.

Intellectually, you realise you should say nothing and leave the room, but sometimes, it just feels like it is not an option. Reality is, there usually are other options.

So when you feel the pressure build up, when that anger hits and you can feel it, Ďcos ya pulse increases, etc, simply lift one of your hands and place it over your mouth. For a few moments, it shuts you up.

Those first few moments are critical in deciding on an appropriate response to a situation. It might look silly, it might feel silly, but it gives you a few moments to figure out if there are other valid ways of reacting, which donít necessarily involve the volcano.

Sometimes, a degree of verbal anger is appropriate as an outcome but more often than not, if we give ourselves a moment or two before we react, we can slowly start to choose more appropriate reactions or actions. That might then include wandering off to your room or outside for a walk or whatever, and the more we allow ourselves to practice making a deliberate Ďhalt, think, choose, apply reactioní method, the greater the chance of more mild outcomes.

Or, like me, ya could just live by yaself in a tiny flat. Here, everything is the cats fault, so itís easy.

I didnít learn a lot in Sunnyside, but I did learn that we have choices as to how we react to and think about things. And you start by giving yourself thinking time. Fast thinking. But thinking that I know you are capable of.

Take gentle care, eh.

Paddy.

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Re: I beg for your help please

Post by mylife on Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:38 am

somedays I would love to live in a tiny flat, where everything is the cats fault..
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Re: I beg for your help please

Post by mumtothree on Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:05 pm

rendeer
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Re: I beg for your help please

Post by NZMiniCooperFan on Sun Dec 25, 2011 7:43 am

When I'm at home and start to feel angry, I do exercise. I either go for a really fast walk, and thrust my joints as hard as I can, making 'ugh!' noises, or do laps on my rowing machine, working myself to sheer tiredness.

If I'm in a social situation, I count to 10, then backwards from 20 ... all while blocking out what I was thinking ... that works quite well for me.

I found my medication made me worse before I became a bit better. There are a lot of medicinal choices available, so if yours isn't working, don't be afraid to ask your doctor for a prescription of something else to try.
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Re: I beg for your help please

Post by mumtothree on Sun Dec 25, 2011 10:09 am

thanks mini i cant just leave to exercise as i have three little ones and this is why i hate myself for anger meds dr said nothing they can do doing councilling but cant afford it so stuffed really.

isnt it funny how even your own family thing about mental health and the scary part is the health professionals and what they think and there ment to help.

Hope that you are ok.
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Re: I beg for your help please

Post by NZMiniCooperFan on Sun Dec 25, 2011 9:48 pm

Hi mumtothree

I hope you're feeling better today =)

Appreciating that you can't leave the house on will because of your littlies, could you perhaps sit them down, when you're feeling okay, and explain to them that there are times when you need to be on your own, and that when this happens they must give you the time you need?

All going well, maybe you could just retreat to your bedroom, lie on your bed and kick / punch up at the air with your arms and legs until you can't do it anymore. You'll be exhausted, but it will - I'm sure - make you feel better. The release of the built-up frustration and anger certainly helps.

I know how helpless the situation feels when you are going through it ... I ended up walking out of my last job because I was so fed up and angry with everything. Despite requesting a transfer (to another Department) or a desk change (so I didn't have to sit next to a woman who made my life hell), and outlining all the reasons very clearly, my employer at the time couldn't acommodate either of my requests. So I left. I was tempted to say "Look - I have a mental illness and these people are doing my head in" but - and I say this with great sadness - society is still not very accepting (especially in the field that I work in).
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Re: I beg for your help please

Post by mumtothree on Mon Dec 26, 2011 5:59 am

You are right society is not accepting i do know this as i had to leave my last job when there was out in the open descrimination.

I understand what you say about the kidz and i have done this many a time but i also have children with high needs that just dont get it.

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