My child was sectioned today

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My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Thu Sep 29, 2011 5:34 am

Crying or Very sad well, I haven't been in for awhile. Things have been chugging along ok and today bam! My 17 year old (multiple issues) had to be sectioned for his own safety. I'm just waiting for further contact from the hospital and thought of this place (a safe place) to share this heartbreaking news as I don't feel up to sharing in real life just yet. God this is so hard Sad

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Thu Sep 29, 2011 5:35 am

Anyone else been down this horrid road? What the hell I am supposed to do?

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by zin on Thu Sep 29, 2011 6:57 am

Hugs dear
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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Thu Sep 29, 2011 7:01 am

Thanks Zin. It's a horrible time. I am hoping he turns a corner soon. He is resistant at the moment.

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by Paddy on Thu Sep 29, 2011 7:22 am

Hugs Indeed, hon.

I am sorry that I don't have any personal experience that might help - it was always moi being locked up, not anyone else around me.

I've found something on the Ministry of Health website which will give you information about being Sectioned etc, but information alone isn't going to be the answer to everything, is it?

http://www.moh.govt.nz/moh.nsf/pagesmh/2443/$File/Chapter2MentalHealthLaw.pdf

Please let us know if there is anyway we can assist you won't you, because you have to care about yourself, as well as your son. flower

Gentle Care, eh. flower

Paddy.
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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:15 am

Thanks so much Paddy for your kind words. Just being able to come in here is a huge help. Free from judgement. Thankfully he has calmed down in the last wee while and will be sedated tonight. We all know that a lack of sleep takes a toll. I'm trying to find some hope in this situation - maybe he will finally gets the help he needs. One day at a time I guess, well one hour at a time at this stage. I'll report back with an update later for those who may be interested.

Thanks again for your support - I don't have the words to describe how thankful I truly am. (Damn - now I'm crying again!)

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:24 am

One question if anyone cares to answer. For those who have been hospitalised I would like to ask opinions regarding family support. What in your opinion helps? He didn't want to see me earlier today so I took in juice and snacks he likes and dropped them off. I've also rung several times to check in and staff are letting him know we are offering our support. He has agreed to see me tomorrow (subject to change of course). Any tips on how best to approach him/situation? Thanks again.

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by Maisie on Fri Sep 30, 2011 9:51 am

Tobycat that must be really difficult for you and your family. Like you say though, hopefully it will mean that he will get the support that he needs. Regarding family (and friends), as much as I love them, sometimes I just cant cope with contact with them when Im in hospital, because everything is just so overwhelming and I dont have the wherewithal to manage it. Its not a reflection on how I feel about them, its just simply that I cant cope with anything much at all. Hugs.

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Sat Oct 01, 2011 9:02 am

Maisie - thanks so much for your response. Terrible day yesterday, but today was better as he has some meds on board. We are keeping visits short as much as we want to stay and care for him. The nurses have been brilliant. I am trying to stay strong - it's so hard. I can only imagine what is like for him Sad

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by mylife on Sat Oct 01, 2011 6:07 pm

Hey Toby Cat

How are things today? How are you today and your son.

Please, please take care of you first. It is such a difficult time for you and you need to be in as gooda shape as possible.

It may be difficult for your son, but it is I think more difficult for you - having to stand back, not knowing what to do, not knowing what the 'right' thing is and of course, that lovely feeling of helplessness.

I am sure everyone here can empathise to a very small degree here with the goings on of some, but for you this is much much worse. It is someone you are close to, someone you have brought up.

Please do feel free to chat here - I am glad that you have so far. We dont judge, and we are your (cyber) friends, I know that I will 'listen' online. I may not be able to help you directly, but have a keen ear (or in this case keen eyes) for you to off load onto. Wink
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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Sun Oct 02, 2011 8:59 am

Thanks so much for your kind words My Life. I appreciate it so much. Coming in here and being able to say what is going on is a sort of freedom (I don't have to explain what it all means and I know I won't be judged - thanks!)

The meds have lifted his mood but he is far from healthy functioning but the risk he posed to himself seems to have passed for now at least.

He was allowed out for lunch with us today so a major improvement. It was surreal though. As we live an hour each way from the hospital it wasn't practical to take him home so took him to a cafe. Of course we bumped into people we know and even small talk was weird. What do you say when someone asks 'how's it going?' The truth is our lives are broken and I don't know if we will recover Sad It's so strange, bizarre in fact.

Thanks for letting me express my feelings here - it is helping. Off to bed now as I need to be up at 4am for work and I'm so knackered but sleep isn't coming easily.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow.

tobycat

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Sun Oct 02, 2011 9:02 am

sorry if my messages are a bit garbled but I'm not functioning that well myself.

I hope everyone else is well and I will post an update for those who may be interested.

Thanks again for this safe place.

tobycat

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by mylife on Sun Oct 02, 2011 6:12 pm

Hey TC (do you mind if I call you that - I can be a bit of a lazy typer),

Good to hear from you again. Your messages are not garbled - as a matter a fact they are really quite clear.

Re the how's it going question - that is an awkward one. No doubt it is a difficult subject to talk about but believe me, I have found that everything is easier when you start to open up to your friends. Difficult to do I know, but they may surprise you and support you and your family. Some may judge, but then, were they friends at all?

However, in a cafe is not the right place or time.

I am well, thanks for asking. I was in the dark dark place (around 2 or 3 years ago ) that your son is in now and "escaped" being hospitilised, just. With the right doctor and care, he should be ok. I say should as the right medical professional is so important to me in my mental health issues, I suspect it would be the same for him too.

Also with the right family and friend support structure I got through. I admire you TC, so many parents just tell their children to 'grow up' 'its nothing' 'get over it'. Instead you have taken the bull by the horns and said, "hey son, I'm here to help you" totally awesome! Very Happy

There will be really really bad days (meds don't always help with these) and really really good days. But hold on to hope and your strength. Lastly remember to look after yourself first.

and here's a smile for your day Smile

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Mon Oct 03, 2011 9:19 am

TC is absolutely fine my life Very Happy And thanks for the smile - they are few and far between at the moment.

Babysteps - he seems to have picked up since on meds but still a llooooonnngggg way to go. He thinks since he feels better he could come home, there is no way he is ready for that but it's hard to get through to him so we sort of dance around it.

I am so tired that I think I'll actually get some sleep tonight. Good night and thanks for letting me share.

tobycat

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by mylife on Mon Oct 03, 2011 5:34 pm

I am so glad and pleased that he has picked up a little bit. You are right, baby steps.

Hmmm the going home thing? Best to leave that to the professionals to decide I think and I truely hope you are good at dancing!!!

I hope you managed some sleep last night - you might feel a lot better after it.

Very Happy
Smile
two smiles for you today
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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by mumtothree on Tue Oct 04, 2011 6:54 am

Hi tomcat just read your blog you are so strong it must be hard glad you can come in here and feel not judge that is great well im from the other foot i get section and boy you are very unwell you are just not in this world and dont want much to do with anyone. You are embarrased when you do start to feel well as you have thoughts of what you have done. So you are doing a great job small steps at a time. Can you take a mental health day or a day sick to care for a family member just to take time for you even if it is just to sleep take a walk or breathe
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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Tue Oct 04, 2011 9:11 am

Thanks mylife and mumtothree for your support. It is so hard. He is making good progress but I do worry he's not letting all his thoughts out in his quest to come home. I took him out for lunch today and that went quite well. The staff have been very supportive, in fact his Dr visited him this evening and then rang me at home to update me on the situation. He is very pleased with how things are going and is talking about overnight release on the weekend. I expressed that I have mixed feelings about this, I'd love for my boy to come home but I don't know if I am equipped to deal with him. In fact I am terrified!

We are self employed and work from home (farm) mumtothree so I can juggle a lot of my work (thank goodness) but some things just have to get done. I also have a younger child that I worry about, I'm trying to make sure he gets individual attention but it is a juggling act. As long as I don't think too far ahead I think I'll keep my head above water Smile

Thank goodness for this place where I can dump my thoughts and thanks again for support (and smiles), it does mean a lot.

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:35 am

I think the meds are kicking in and he is much improved. Still a long way to go of course. Maybe home soon for an overnight stay. I am happy and scared by that. I am so tired that I'm on my way to bed but thought I'd update here in case anyone was curious.

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by Maisie on Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:42 pm

Hi TobyCat, just wanted to say that I have been thinking of you. Im glad the meds are kicking in for your boy. Its early days. I can imagine the mixed feelings of him coming home - scared in case its too early and things arent stable enough, worried of what could happen, and hopeful in case this really is the start of his way back. Thats what the professionals are there for, to make those kind of decisions. Can you talk through with them an action plan and support for what to do if things do become too difficult.

Remember that you are one very important person in this whole thing, and take the time out to give yourself some rest-and-fulfil-the-soul time. Youve got to look after you.

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by mylife on Fri Oct 07, 2011 6:37 am

Hi TC (for Top Cat)..

Thanks for the 'post'. I am more than curious, I am interested and want to make sure you are ok.

Keep posting - it's great Smile
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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Sat Oct 08, 2011 8:13 am

Thanks for the wonderful support. He's home for one night so we'll see how it goes. I can only hope he continues to improve but I know it is a long process. There is talk of a family meeting but nothing set in concrete yet but I will push for it. I'm amazed how drained we all feel. I guess it's just not something you can be prepared for and it knocks everyone around.

Thanks again. I'll update again tomorrow.

tobycat

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by mylife on Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:00 pm

Yay! good that he is home for a night. How did the night go?

The drained feeling is expected, make sure you take care of yourself too Smile

I can imagine it would knock everyone around Smile

Keep up the posting and updates.
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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by Paddy on Mon Oct 10, 2011 6:45 am

TC,
How are things for and with you at the moment? I hope you're able to save some energy and love for yourself, 'cos thats very important.

I hope that your young man is feeling less discombobulated and more settled - I know just how 'odd' the World can feel and be when one is binned and yeah, we seem to think ourselves ready and able to face the outside again, a lot sooner than we really are.

I also hope that he is able to find relaxing ways to help complete his days and nights, because there is not a lot of um, 'mental stimulation' in the way of diversions such as reading, or doing anything very meaningful.

TC, you may not know this but here at TBBD I offer a Free Lending Library, which is accessible from our Home Page - there are a number of books listed there somewhere, and each is available, free of charge to any Member, except that I ask any borrower to just pay the return postage. There is no urgency to return books usually, so if you see something there that interests you, simply send me a Personal Message and I can get something off in the mail to you.

Paddy.

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Mon Oct 10, 2011 9:20 am

Thanks Mylife and Paddy - your kind words do mean a lot. I'll check out the library Paddy - sounds great.

Update - overnight went well, a few attempts at manipulation to get things (not happening buddy), but overall quite well. He didn't do much but we felt under the circumstances we would just let him chill. Went back ok (reluctant but accepting). Tomorrow we have our family meeting, he is confident of discharge although his keyworker is not 100% sure. I'm happy to bring him home again on leave but discharge is pretty scary sounding. I'm just making a list of my concerns/questions now as I know I could easily get off track if I get emotional. I'll check in here tomorrow as I find it wonderful to share in such a safe environment. Thanks again.

tobycat

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Re: My child was sectioned today

Post by tobycat on Thu Oct 13, 2011 7:36 am

Well, he is on leave. We are tiptoeing around each other. He is much more settled (thanks to the meds I'd say). The future still seems like a scary place. We will just keep taking it one day at a time.

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