I know why I'm Fat...

The shampoo I use in the shower says, "For extra volume and body".

I'm going to start using dish washing liquid!!! It's says..

"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove".

(stolen from TradeMe 'cos it made me laugh).

Paddy.

'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce court judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'

'That's very fair, your Honour,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'


An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'

The old man says without hesitation,
'I now pronounce you man and wife.'


Two Reasons Why it’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.


The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,
'Well, she's There.'

Thanks to the person what sent me these.

Paddy.