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Taking it Day by Day

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Post by logical-cents Tue Mar 01, 2011 6:31 am

01/03/2011
7:26 pm


Well decided to start a semi-proper journal, not sure whether I need one or not, but maybe it will be a good idea to keep track of things day by day.

Today was another day much like the others. Had tech. Still not sure what I think of it, finding one part too easy and the rest of it can't understand. Got to write a letter of request by Monday, got all the info we need for it, just need to put it into a letter - might take a look on Google for some help. Got another 2 chapters to do for Office Docs they look a bit more difficult than the first two chapters but those looked difficult and turned out easy enough so maybe these two chapters will be the same. Then I think tomorrow we are going to be given some sort of report to write or similar, NOT looking forward to that.

Mood is down a bit. Came home today and dishes hadn't been done. D said he'd been busy all day with work, but he had done a bit of grocery shopping so guess that's ok.

Been playing with Denny tonight with a thin piece of bendy paper - I think my fingers and hands have been caught more than the paper has been. I picked him up earlier and said 'Hey Fatty' and he started purring. He also purred when I lay down on the floor and tucked him in next to me.

Well that's all for now, better get a look at dinner.


Last edited by logical-cents on Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:07 am; edited 2 times in total
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Post by logical-cents Tue Mar 01, 2011 5:25 pm

02/03/2011
6:15 am


Been awake since 4 am, finally got up now as got to get ready for tech. Really don't feel like going in but it's last day for the week and only 2 hours (for me anyway everyone else is there till 5 pm).

Looks like Denny's been asleep in a box all night. When I came into lounge and turned light on this little head popped up from inside the box (it's one of those big A4 paper boxes) and now he's just sitting in the box peering out at me.

Got a bit of shopping to do after tech today, then a docs appointment this afternoon, must remember to ask him for a new script for inhalers, get him to fill out the form for SLS learning assessment and get a medical certificate since can't get hold of my psychiatrist and I'm sure there was something else, just can't remember it at moment. Probably remember after appointment.

Think I might get a pie for breakfast once get into town.
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Post by logical-cents Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:04 am

02/03/2011
6:55 pm


Money sure goes fast, spent $20 at the pharmacy on inhalers, unfortunately they aren't something I can leave, especially at the moment since asthma's been playing up a bit. Brought myself a mini set of mini hair straighteners and a mini hairdryer in purple, not that I really like hairdryer's but that's ok.

Got given more homework at tech today, we've got about 6-8 weeks to do it in though, got to observe a reception area and write a brief report on it. Already finished off 2 lots of homework, trying to write a letter of request and it's not working, but got till Monday to throw something together for it.

Denny was a brilliant help when I was doing one lot of homework on dining table, he started by attacking my pencil and pages of my book, then he lay right across the middle of my book and all I could do at that was start laughing, then after I moved him off he decided to curl up right into my chest so I had the book about an arm's length away from me trying to write in it. Did get it all done though so that's the main thing.

Mood is still on the edge a bit, but flatmate helped it by telling me that he thinks I've done really well in the last few months and have come a long way in the last nearly a year. So that's something.

Didn't end up getting a pie for breakfast as thought I was running late but turned out I wasn't so could of got the pie, oh well, saved me eating something I shouldn't be eating.
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Post by Guest Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:44 am

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Post by logical-cents Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:08 pm

05/03/2011
10:54 am


Well haven't written in here for a couple of days, mainly coz I couldn't really be bothered. So here goes the past couple days.

Thursday
Tried to sleep in, woke at 7:30 am so got up. Didn't get up to much, finished of my homework in the morning, all I've got left now is to write a brief report on a reception area at a business of my choice, we've got about 7 weeks to do that though. Need to print off the letter of request I wrote but will probably do that at Wintec.

Didn't do much in the afternoon, bit of cleaning up, was meant to have a guy come round to watch movies but he never showed up, got to 8:30pm and I texted him and told him to not bother coming, haven't heard from him since.


Friday
Tried to sleep in again, lawn mowing guy woke me at 8 am so got up. Again didn't really get up to anything. Went into Cambridge in the evening with D, plan was to go round to a mates and surprise him, but turned out he wasn't home, so went to the Warehouse, got another backpack for course, still not what I want but it's got 2 pockets on it so will do for now. Saw some gorgeous little baby shoes marked down to $5 so gonna go back next week and get a pair if they've still got them. (My cousins had a baby boy a couple of weeks ago).


Today, well I haven't long gotten up, finally managed to get my sleep in till 10:30am. Shall see what today brings, but with this weather and my mood I just want to stay curled up in bed.
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Post by logical-cents Sat Mar 05, 2011 7:20 am

05/03/2011
8:16pm


Fairly quiet day today. Seemed kinda pointless really. We went and done a brief grocery shop this afternoon and done a roast chicken and veges up for dinner.

Earlier this morning was playing with Denny, got a few scratches from him, and then he turned into a little big sook and was cuddling up to me and just smooching up.

Not looking forward to tomorrow either much, just gonna be another wasteful day.
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Post by logical-cents Sun Mar 06, 2011 7:35 am

06/03/2011
8:29 pm


Another useless day. Felt a bit unwell this morning, sick and light headed, wondered if it's from the Lithium as when thinking about it seemed to come on after I'd taken that so will see what happens when I take it tonight.

Cats, who'd have them. Kept being attacked as I walked past by Denny. Toffie stole my keys of the bed and took them to the lounge. Alice came home with a cooked sausage in her mouth, possibly from someone's rubbish, possibly from someone's house, unsure. Sookie currently has an alive cicada in the house. And Missy is asleep on the bench. Lest they provide some entertainment.

Made my lunch for tech tomorrow, ham and egg and mayo sammies that I want to eat now, some cheese balls, chocolate and a bottle of water.
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Post by logical-cents Mon Mar 07, 2011 5:49 am

07/03/2011
6:39 pm


Not too bad of a day today. Tech went pretty good. Rung crisis team this afternoon/evening, they tried to put me through to my nurse first, then another nurse, then put me onto CAT team who were kinda helpful and she talked to me for 20 mins. By the time I'd rung them I'd already cut myself on the wrist a bit but nothing too major. Anyway so she told me to wrap up the razor blades and go for a walk and just dump them somewhere. I done that but dumped them in the rubbish bins that are around the corner. Couldn't really believe that she was suggesting just to dump them anywhere.

Anyway better get some homework done.
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Post by logical-cents Tue Mar 08, 2011 7:55 am

08/03/2011
8:50 pm


Feeling tired and sick and a tad hungry. Have come down with a cold or similar, am not enjoying it, it makes my asthma play up, I don't like using my inhalers even though I know I need to. As it is haven't been using the preventer every morning and night like I should *whacks self across back of hand* I am trying to.

Seemed to be a long day today, looking forward to tomorrow in the fact that I'm only there for two hours. Am ignoring homework at the moment.

Did manage to clean fridge and clean out a set of cupboards for our other flatmate to fit her food in. D has done the dishes both yesterday and today so am pleased with that.
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Post by logical-cents Wed Mar 09, 2011 8:33 am

09/03/2011
9:24 pm


Two hours of tech this morning, seemed to go ok. D came into town this morning so got a ride home saving on a bus fare which was good. Still ignoring homework though.

Finally got another nurse, she sounded really nice on the phone, she's coming round to meet me next Thursday, lets hope it's not like the last one and she doesn't die the day before the appointment. But least she sounded nice, she said she's just a locum till they find someone else though but will try not to think of that.

Busy day tomorrow. Got my learning assessment at tech to see if I can get any help. The more I've been thinking about it I feel it may be a waste of time but will see what they say.

Denny has just been one big sook up until this evening. Started this morning when I got up he was smooching around me legs, I'd pick him up and he'd just curl into me, then he was doing the same when I got home. Smooching around, curling up into me, weaving between my legs, sleeping right next to me. He seem to get over it by about 6 pm-ish and was changing tactics to attacking my feet. Lest he provides some entertainment.

Moved some of the lounge furniture into the conservatory now that that is cleaned up, so it's looking quite nice in there and at least now I know what other furniture I need. Another armchair/rocking chair for the conservatory and a couch for the lounge to replace where the rocking chairs where. Bit difficult with furniture though as D's car doesn't have a towbar.
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Post by logical-cents Fri Mar 11, 2011 5:16 am

11/03/2011
6:12 pm


Didn't write in here yesterday, mainly coz I couldn't be bothered.

Thursday
Had learning assessment, got a note taker for one of my classes and the option to have a separate room and extra time on exams, so outcome wasn't too bad. Feel a bit like a fraud though and that I shouldn't need it, don't deserve it etc.

Got sky and mysky installed, now just gotta work out how to work it.


Today
Woke at 7:30 am even though didn't have to be up, got up anyway. Been feeling worse as the day's gone on, feeling cold so wrapped up but not as much as I'd like to be, neck and shoulders starting to feel sore too and just feeling really exhausted.

D has taken the night off work and is cooking dinner (homemade bbq meatlovers pizza's), not that I'm really hungry but will eat something.

Trying to write a letter of complaint for tech, due Monday, not getting very far with it.
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Post by logical-cents Sun Mar 13, 2011 3:47 am

13/03/2011
4:40 pm


Finally got my letter written yesterday. Haven't even looked at the other part of my homework, just haven't felt well enough to do it.

Whole body is aching, eyes are sore, headache, chest hurts when breathing etc, feel exhausted, no appetite, D says I should go to docs tomorrow, can't really afford it but thinking he might be right. Got an assessment tomorrow afternoon so thinking of taking the morning off and just going in for the afternoon.

Finally get dressed and had a shower about 30 mins ago, should of had a bath though, oh well.
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Post by logical-cents Mon Mar 14, 2011 5:32 am

14/03/2011
6:26 pm


Well been to docs this morning, he's diagnosed me as having the flu, but is running blood tests for glandular fever and thyroid as well as he said my thyroid is swollen - possibly from the Lithium.

Ended up taking all of today of tech, will have to make up the assessment another time, maybe next Monday's class. Not really looking forward to going tomorrow, but do need to as can't fall too far behind, if it feels too much can't always leave and come home.

Think might have a bath then bit of a rest. Don't think I've stayed up much past 7-7:30 pm the last few nights. Hate how I don't know whether I'm hot or cold.
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Post by logical-cents Tue Mar 15, 2011 6:01 am

15/03/2011
6:58 pm


Went to tech today, didn't complete the whole day though, left before the start of the last class. Was feeling far too tired and light headed. Came home, had a bit of a nap, then done dishes before finally having something to eat. Body is aching again and feeling way too hot, which does make a change from feeling freezing cold. Will ring tomorrow and see if blood tests are back.

Must remember to ring Mum for her birthday tomorrow as well.
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Post by logical-cents Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:05 am

16/03/2011
12:55 pm


D's got an abscess/infection on his wisdom tooth, I know what that's like, I had one last year before I got the tooth taken out. I know how painful and uncomfortable it is. I still managed to cook dinners (even though I couldn't really eat), I still done the housework and the dishes and washing.

Now I've got the flu and D's got the tooth infection. I done the dishes yesterday (coz they'd been left since I done them on Sunday) while feeling very light headed, left them to air dry a bit on the bench, we ran out of bowls and some glasses on the shelf, there was a whole heap I'd washed yesterday, so D's been using them from the clean pile on the bench. Why not just put the bloody things away?!?! Why leave them?? They aren't going to put themselfs away now are they. So yes I have put them away. There is MORE dishes sitting there to be washed, and yes it will probably be me that has to do them. Just like the bathroom that needs cleaning, the hall the needs vacuuming, the lounge that needs dusting, all get's left up to me to do no matter how I feel. I'm not his damn mother, yes I am a tad pissed off and because of the way I am, I won't confront him either, will just do it.


Anyway other that am feeling a little bit better though quite tired, was up a lot of the night with a sore chest and asthma. Took today of tech. Back is still quite sore, but slowly easing and I think my temperature is starting to even out a bit as not feeling quite as hot and cold as I have been. Considering going for a walk up to The Warehouse later, it's only 10 mins each way so not too bad.

I have decided to life the ban on comments, I put it there coz I thought it would be betterto have no comments, instead I just feel like I'm talking to myself, which maybe I am, but on the off chance I'm not you're free to leave a message.
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Post by Guest Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:02 am

Your not talking to yourself LC I love you sending out cyberspace get well wishes x

I'm glad you lifted the ban on comments, sometimes comments piss us off, but most times they help...... and..... knowing that someone is 'listening' helps heaps too.

ALONE suxs...
As for that darn flatmate grr

Take care LC

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Post by logical-cents Wed Mar 16, 2011 6:51 am

Thanks Poetry, think I was annoyed the day I created this and that's why I put up the no comments.


16/03/2011
7:48 pm


GRRRRRRRR Just had to cook dinner for us. Feeling sooooo tired. Think I'm off to bed in a minute.

Have my new nurse visiting first time tomorrow morning, that is if she hasn't died today like my last one did. Got results back of blood tests and they were all fine so it is the flu I've got not glandular fever. Doc is referring me onto some doctor/specialist about my thyroid though.
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Post by logical-cents Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:11 am

17/03/2011
7:06 pm


Had my first visit with new nurse today, I'm sure the visits are only meant to be about 30 mins, she was here for nearly an hr and a half. But she's really nice and me and D both like her and think she'll be good. Shame that she's only a locum though, kinda hoping that they won't find anyone else.

Am feeling extremely hot this afternoon. Had a bit of a nap after lunch and after I'd done half the dishes. The kitchen's a mess, dishes and stuff everywhere, clean and unclean.

Went for a walk down the The Warehouse this evening, come home and just feel shattered, so think that was the wrong idea, thing is though tomorrow I've gotta walk up to the pharmacy and that's 30mins each way, will see if I can get a lift from D up there though.
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Post by logical-cents Fri Mar 18, 2011 8:07 am

18/03/2011
9:03 pm


Didn't get too much sleep last night, only 2-3 hours. D picked up my meds for me this morning which was good, saved me a walk. Finally got the kitchen clean, cept now there's a pile of dirty dishes in the sink from lunch and dinner, the clean dishes are around the outside of the sink air drying. I swear they are never ending. Got a pile of towels and things washed and dried as well, cleaned the bathroom/toilet, then went to lie down at about 3:30 pm for just a few minutes then all of a sudden it was 8:30 pm when I woke. Bout to go back to bed soon, just had something to eat.

I feel saddened about what has happened here with Ros's clothes shopping thread and people leaving.

There was something else I was gonna write but can't remember what.
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Post by logical-cents Sat Mar 19, 2011 8:52 am

19/03/2011
9:48 pm


Thought I was starting to get better yesterday then woke up this morning with a sore throat and a slight rash on stomach which is now itchy and cough has gotten worse tonight, is hurting my chest, but oh well, I will pull through this.

D has grading for his Martial Arts tomorrow, so went to pick Sensei up from Auckland airport this afternoon and he'll spend most of tomorrow with him too. When D left to go to Auckland I started crying for no particular reason, all I can think of is the fact that I'm still not feeling 100% its made me more sensitive.

I hate being on my own, it's why I always have TV or music going, should be used to it, lived alone for 3 years.

We have little cricket legs all over the lounge floor thanks to the cats, well they aren't all over the floor, but there is quite a few of them. There was a dead praying mantis on the floor this morning as well.
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Post by logical-cents Sun Mar 20, 2011 7:52 am

20/03/2011
8:47 pm


Been home alone watching Disney channel pretty much all day. D and Sensei came home briefly at lunch time, was good to see Sensei, and got a hug and kiss from him which was nice.

Denny the kitten was being a sook this afternoon, lying cuddled up to me on the couch purring, was nice.

I want to stop all my medication, I'm sure it's changed me, I used to enjoy reading and doing arts and crafts, now I don't do any of it, I've convinced myself it's because of the lithium.

Think I'm starting to come out of the flu now, least I hope so. Back to tech tomorrow, not really looking forward to it.
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Post by logical-cents Tue Mar 22, 2011 6:30 am

22/03/2011
7:23 pm


Went to tech for a couple of hours yesterday but couldn't do the full day. Had a headache that felt like someone was stabbing me in the side of the head, throat was sore and itchy and just felt run down. Went home and watched bit of tv, then slept from bout 4:30 pm - 9:30 pm, then went back to bed about 10:15 pm.

Took today of tech, still not feeling too well. Have just lain around watching TV most of today. Will go in tomorrow for a couple of hours, then am off for rest of the week. Falling bit behind in some homework though.
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Post by logical-cents Wed Mar 23, 2011 7:34 am

23/03/2011
8:30 pm


Didn't get up to much today. Went into tech for 2 hrs this morning, was probably useless going in as don't really remember what was taught. I don't know what to do about my course, on one hand if I quit then I'm going to feel like a failure and like I'm giving up, on the other hand I'm still not really enjoying it so is it worth staying on??

Still trying to get over the flu - least I think that's still what it is, have kinda gotten a touch of depression now though as well I think. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel lonely and bored.
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Post by logical-cents Thu Mar 24, 2011 8:32 am

24/03/2011
9:26 pm


I hate me, I hate my life. I've been feeling so lonely and that there is no-one around to see or hear me even if people are around. I stuffed up dinner coz oven wasn't turned on properly so now it's late. I hate life.
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Post by logical-cents Fri Mar 25, 2011 5:59 am

25/03/2011
6:54 pm


Instead of surrounding the clean dishes with dirty dishes, why not put the clean dishes away so the bench is free for more dirty dishes?? Some people don't know how to do anything.

At the moment I am over everything. Just want to curl up and die. Feel so useless, worthless, alone. I hate everything. Just don't see the point.
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