Is this PTSD ??

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Is this PTSD ??

Post by angel_lost on Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:06 am

I am 25yrs female. Had a car accident 2yrs ago ABS brakes failed i remember bracing myself for the accident (knowning it was going to happen at 80km) but thats it the next thing I remember is someone at my car door talking to me with hand on my shoulder looking at my face. I regret it now but shock must have set in straight away or something as I kept saying I was fine etc to others who came and spoke to me etc. Even to St Johns when they arrived I was standing next to my car which was across a big ditch. I had already spoken to parents on the phone admitted being in the wrong (saying to my parents "I will be the one in the wrong" I remember dad saying "I will be their in 20mins hang in there". With St Johns I sort of fobbed them off as well they looked straight at my face said "are you alright" I said "yes" in tears and holding my arm close then a young lady came over and spoke to me she was from St Johns and went through the pulse, neck pain etc and then asked if I remember what happened I of course answered "yes hit the other car over their (pointing) and ended up here" she never did ask if I remembered anything else. At this point mum arrived and a cop was standing like 5M away watching on and mum ran up to me in total tears and I turned around and took two steps towards mum and at that point I just totally bursted into tears. The St Johns lady was filling in paperwork but the Cop said "lets have a word over here" first requested my drivers license I said its in the car he said will get those detail later did a breath test all clear (I never drink anyway!) and proceeded to get details of what happened from me the St Johns lady came back said to me is this mum and I said yes its mum and she then asked the cop for a moment or two he said no and then the lady said its important so we can then depart. The St Johns lady pointed to my arm (which I was holding close to me) and looked at mum and said to get it checked and everything else go to the doctor straight from here (accident sight).

What happened is I refused to go to the doctor all I wanted to do was to go home so I did go home that night I had little sleep due to a hell of a headache and just the share pain of everything. I went to the doctor first thing in the morning after little sleep the doctor now looking back was crap he was only interested in talking to me and getting the wrist xrayed he saw the hassle I had unable to get my sweatshirt over my head or to lift me arm up etc.

I had nurses telling me "have you said it to the doctor about the pain down the side" I kept saying yes he said he will look into it all soon but soon never happened.

March 2009 I was cleared from the clinic for rehab of the wrist and in June 09 I went back to the clinic about backpain that I had from March I think I noticed it after coing off painkillers which I was on 24/7 but the doctor was not kiwi but he said "oh sprain" what have you done in the last 6days? I said attempted to lift a milk bucket and then he jumped on the fact that its from that so out came the ACC form and before I knew it it was "sign here"!

However I also went in (forgotten what month) about emotionally not coping (thinking it was stress) and the headaches that kept happening at that point the doctor then asked what I thought that caused it and he then went on about sucide and how I was attempting it I left nothing better he refused to give me any time off work but to write a letter stating that in March 2009 I was released for rehab of the wrist.

From 4days after the accident I knew I was going to be charged with a careless driving causing injury but the manner that the call was made to me by the police officer was not correct I was in the middle of the doctors clinic waiting for the doctor when I got the call from this point on my life was upsetting but honestly it had not hit me until April 2009 when I got the court summons handed to me by a police officer at home - I must say he was very good about it he said he never likes doing this and especially to young ones but he gets the job always.

From that point it hit home hard I was in tears most days and struggling to cope it was also from April 2009 onwards to today that I don't have one day that I don't think about the impact going to happen in the accident or something about it. I never travel the road section where it happened and I still get into tears like writing this is making tears drop.

I have lived headaches from the accident Jan 2009 to Dec 2009 - I had headaches on xmas day last year. Some days I find are sore still iwth my back and shoulder and also an area in the rib area is tender to a firm touch.

What I wonder is, is this PTSD? since being told the accident was sucide and the ABS brakes were not worked correctly by me causing it to happen (an investigation mum and dad got done stated ABS brakes did not work when they should have) I have lost total trust in doctors and the medical area. I can't come across with my issues to people easily and I struggle with some tasks with the back pain etc I have.

I would be greatful for any help I can get I have withdrawn myself from many things e.g bible group, church every week, social groups and with my studies I struggled with completing them but I did with great hard work but its anything that changes e.g mum can say she is off to town and not inform me like that morning and I feel resentful and angry that like I am just treated like dirt feeling when once this would have been "oh cool fine" its anything like this I struggle with.

I look forward to trying to remember to look back here and see replies.

angel_lost

Number of posts : 2
Location : Christchurch
Registration date : 2010-12-27

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Re: Is this PTSD ??

Post by Guest on Mon Dec 27, 2010 9:49 pm

Hi Angel_lost

Welcome to TBBD, I'm pleased you were able to find this site.

I't saddens me to read since 2009, since the accident you have been struggling and sounds to me struggling 'blind, and alone'. In another topic thread there are links for organisations that offer support. I'll bump a thread for you, have a look for it in helplines and other useful contacts. These may be of help ......to answer questions...... and also a place to ask for help.

Take care
Earth angels hurt too, you will find your wings again... promise xox

Look for Useful Emergency Contacts in the helplines and other useful contacts topic
Poetry




Guest
Guest


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Re: Is this PTSD ??

Post by angel_lost on Tue Dec 28, 2010 2:50 am

Hi thanks for that Poetry.

I just don't know if this is PTSD or not.

I still life with the soreness/pain from doing things I know this does not help me but I am feeling I am not the person I was before.

I don't feel I can throw myself to others out there e.g doctors etc for help as confidence etc is what I am lacking howeverr sitting behind a computer screen like now is different.


angel_lost

Number of posts : 2
Location : Christchurch
Registration date : 2010-12-27

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Re: Is this PTSD ??

Post by Bluebird1 on Tue Dec 28, 2010 3:06 am

It sounds as if apart from the physical pain you are experiencing the emotional pain and confusion from being told you were trying to commit suicide and that you were not using your brakes which turned out to be faulty, properly. It sounds as if the whole thing has been mismanaged and you were coerced into making a statement that you were in no condition to make and then, to top it off, was also misunderstood and misdiagnosed by the medical professionals you saw. No wonder you haven't been able to put the whole thing to rest in the past where it belongs. Poetrys idea of looking up the Useful Emergency Contacts thread. Be great if you kept in touch as let us know how you are doing. All the best, Judy
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Bluebird1

Number of posts : 149
Location : Franklin
Registration date : 2010-01-08

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Re: Is this PTSD ??

Post by Guest on Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:44 am

I also had a car accident 2 years ago and still live with the horrid flashbacks of it today, I actually blacked out at the wheel while driving on the motorway to uni. The police were lovely, they did there job and because of the nature of the accident they ordered me to have a medical exam to clear me for driving, so I went to my moms doctor (I didnt have a normal GP as I never really get sick) and he did some basic tests like blood pressure, temperature and ran some blood tests. All came back clear and then the doctor had a go at me, telling me that I need to stop lying telling me that I am a typical young adult (was 18 at the time) apparently according to the doctors version of events, I was texting while I was driving (apparently a typical teenage thing) and caused the car accident myself. He wouldnt listen to anything I said and called me an "argumentive antagonist" he was a complete asshole!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, my mum was really supportive of me and decided to have a second opinion, so we found another doctor who imediately reffered me to a neurologist who did a whole bunch of tests. The neurologist found a number of things that I had never thought of including 'later onset of concussion---- I had fallen off my horse 2 days prior to the accident and could have played a role------ And second diagnosis was a type of seizure that affects your sight. So I was finally happy that someone believed me and found a diagnosis. I have never been back to that first doctor and would recomend to anyone to that if your not happy with what one doctor has said, to get a second opinion

Guest
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Re: Is this PTSD ??

Post by Maisie on Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:49 am

I dont know that it is PTSD, but I dont know that it is not either. Internet diagnoses arent great - even on a forum such as this one. But I dont think it really matters whether it IS PTSD or not at the moment - I think what matters is that you are a person who is hurting, struggling to make sense of things, and in need of support. It sounds like you could do with talking things over with someone skilled in these things, who you can develop a trusting relationship with. Thats often the tricky part eh.

Have the links to the other posts been helpful?

Maisie

Number of posts : 108
Location : Manawatu
Registration date : 2011-02-06

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