Family

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Family

Post by Bluezero on Thu Dec 16, 2010 4:20 am

Hi Everybody

Don't you all hate it when your family picks on you about stuff? My family picks on me about my weight, every time they see me, they're like, you need to lose some weight, are u laying off the junk food? I don't need ANYONE telling me to lose weight. I think I already know I am a bit overweight and I don't need people pushing me. It's so freaking annoying. We could be having a good conversation then they say that to me.

Another thing which pisses me off is my mum. I went clothes shopping about 2 weeks ago. Bought a whole lot of boys clothes and my mum was bringing women's clothes out from the womens section and asking me, won't this look better on you? She knows I hate women's clothes yet every time when we go clothes shopping she is trying to get me to wear womens clothes. I mean, I am the person who is paying for the clothes. I am the one who's going to be wearing them, not her. I don't even like the clothes my mum wears but do I make an issue out of it? No I don't.

I'm not really looking forwards to xmas. I'm not having a poor me, but being deaf and with the whole family coming down. My sister, adam, the kids are coming down from Danniverke, my brother is coming over so is my grandmother. Be about 11 people there. It's going to be hard to lipread everybody if they are all talking at once. I just wish I could do my own thing on xmas day but my family won't have it. I have made most of my presents for my family, I do want to see them open them, I just can't be bothered with the whole xmas thing.
Do you guys feel like that too? I know I should be grateful and that, that I am getting some presents while some people can't afford it but there's that feeling of not wanting to be involved. I remember last year the family didn't wait for me to arrive to open the presents together, I was a bit upset over that. So I told mum to wait for me to arrive. I would of stayed the night if my sister, Adam and the kids weren't. My support worker has given me a taxi chit too which is going to be helpful. Be easier on my parents, they don't have to worry about picking me up. I just want it over and done with.

I'm sorry if everything's I've typed is a waste of space and time.

Bluezero.
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Bluezero

Number of posts : 37
Age : 31
Location : Wellington, New Zealand
Registration date : 2008-12-16

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Re: Family

Post by daze7 on Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:24 am

Hello bluezero ...... Nothing you ever type 'is a waste of space and time' ... it's just how you are at that moment, or how you feel about something.

Christmas can be such a stressful time for some people .... it's a myth that everone is deliriously happy!!!!!!!!!!

I had a child on Xmas Day once upon a time ..... and now I'm not deliriously happy about that! He's the one I haven't heard from for 2 years.

My only suggestion is that you keep the time spent with people to YOUR limit ..... it must be very hard to try and lipread and keep up with conversations going on. And does the sound (all sound including background noise) get amplified.

I'm sure you get really tired of comments on your weight .... but have you ever considered Overeaters Anonymous ..... it's a 12 step programme .... some people have found the programme very helpful. The concepts may be helpful with your depression too. The 'slogans' are really just good stress management.

This is the website for wellington and I think a phone number is:

(04) 384 8821

http://www.oa.org/meetings/find-a-meeting.php

Hope this is helpful for you ............... Hugs, Daze
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Re: Family

Post by DocLazy on Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:57 am

I hate the whole Christmas present giving thing, it can be hard putting on my happy face when opening presents. I do enjoy the family get together and of course christmas lunch/dinner.

Your family is probably pointing out your weight because they are concerned. I know it doesn't always seem that way from our perspective.

DocLazy

Number of posts : 87
Location : Auckland
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Re: Family

Post by jaffakiwi on Thu Dec 16, 2010 6:54 am

It's incredibly frustrating when friends/family expect you to "be" a certain way... especially when that way doesn't feel right to us.

What we have to remember is that they mean well with their ignorance. They honestly believe that if you did things the way they keep suggesting, you will be happier. It's comforting to know they want you to be happier, right?

Consider whether or not their suggestions may actually have merit, but if their advice really doesn't sit well with you, you need to be assertive and let them know WHY.

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Re: Family

Post by Martine on Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:22 pm

Dear Blue

I shudder to think of how you must feel with folk expecting you to be just like they are.

They can't help themselves judging you probably because they DO care.

Loads of thin people get sick and die too. I am also very overweight right now because I have a gargantuan appetite and will eat anything that's not nailed down. I wish it could be different.

I will take up Daizy's idea of Overeater's Anonymous though.

Good luck to you girl, don't forget that everyone on this forum is on YOUR side. Love Martine

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Re: Family

Post by Guest on Sun Dec 26, 2010 9:44 pm

Hi Bluezero

I hope everything went well on Christmas day, and you were able to enjoy the day. I imagine you would have got a tonne of compliments with the gifts you made. How are you? thinking of you and hoping you are well.

Remember this is your space to write what ever you like, tiz your safe place.

Take care
Poetry




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Re: Family

Post by Apricot on Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:24 am

Wow blue,
My heart is aching, for both of us. Just yesterday I was told by my son I am a lump of lard. I feel broken. yes, its true, I am fat. largest I have ever been, and, getting bigger.

I looked at over eaters anon the other night, for me the meeting at very least is three hours away unfortunatley, or I would be there with bells on. I may yet ring someone, even if only to get an email addy.....talking does help when its to someone with similar problems....they can at least understand and relate.

I go to AA...but for me, for what ever the reason....I find the food harder to stop.....I have totally over done it all christmas, all the junk food, bloody chocolates, why the furk do people gift me bloody chocolate when they can see how overweight I am already. Its no different that giving an alkie a bloody bottle of something.

It feels for me, the bigger I get, the emptier I feel.

I send you much love Blue.
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Apricot

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Re: Family

Post by Apricot on Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:30 am

http://www.oaregion10.org/

There is a link on here to write to for those who are not close to meetings Blue, just thought this may be ideal for you with your hearing too.

XO
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Apricot

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Re: Family

Post by Guest on Mon Dec 27, 2010 8:50 am

I have the advantage of being able to delete all photos of me that I dont like... and this year there were too many that show how fat I have grown. i know I'm over weight but its the fat look that bothers me. and the irony given this thread, is that no one in my family ever comment on it now I am so big. When I was a size 12 going on 14 they talked about my weight way too much. cant win eh..

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Re: Family

Post by Martine on Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:27 pm

This makes interesting reading truly.

I thought maybe its just me who is gaining weight like the michelin man.

Maybe we should try to form a support group for folks on mad meds like us, I wonder whats in them that turns us into carboholics.

My lovely husband made our Christmas Cake this year. I iced it in more ways than one. Our guest for Christmas is allergic to nuts, so did not have any.

The cake is all gone now. Oops.

Martine

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