Doing it alone yet again

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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by Guest on Sat Jan 01, 2011 9:02 am

god ros.. if its not one bill its another....!! good thing you can still smile eh.
do you like the new phone?

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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by Guest on Sat Jan 01, 2011 9:14 pm

I have got use to the new phone. It is very flash with FM radio, media player and net. Wont use a lot of the applications cos all I need for it to do is call and text plus use it as a diary.

Had another fight with Q Card (fiance card) yesterday. My payments which go out by AP each week have gone missing again. Spent 45 min on the phone with them while unwell. I have decided to cut the card up cos I am sick of dealing with them and see if I can get the balance transfered to my bank loan. This will also save on intrest.

Then last night got a suicide text from a friend of mine. She had decided to od so had to deal with that. The thing that pisses me off is she has all the supports in the world, she is under a mental health team, has a key worker comming in each week to help her and family to call on. She texted me after she had been seen by CATT asking if I was mad at her. I just replied I will talk in the morning as I have to put myself first. She also knows how unwell I have been, grrrrrr.

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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by Guest on Tue Jan 04, 2011 9:03 pm

hey Roswell,

I truely hope this year is much better than last for you. You have been a pillar of support for alot of people here.

Texting you was an unfair moment by that friend, really if she could contact you, she could contact the crisis people. Really she should be cherising the friendship you two have and expect to give you the same level of support you have given her.

please young roswell, make sure you put yourself first, everything - ok?


and keep in touch,

cheers


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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by Guest on Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:16 am

Well end of a long day.

Had a busy day at work. It wasnt helpped by the fact all our computers were down so had no access to files, paperwork, email or the net and it is surpriseing how much I use it for my job.

I got told buy a client that I need to pray to a wife to help look after me.

I took some cookies in to have with my coffee, i had them on the table in the lounge and got distracted by a phone call; one of the clients ate them.

After work went and did some shopping, walked past the stationary section and have no idea why, impluse, grabbed a craft knife.

Walking home thinking about cutting to relieve the stress and tension etc. Have a mini battle going on in my head and end up throwing the craft knife in the Hutt River.

So the next battle is do I go home or do I seek help. Tried a helpline but couldnt get through. Couldnt decied if I should present at ED or not. Walked backwards and forth halfway between home and the hospital three or four times. Ended up at ED.

When triaged I was deemed high risk of suicide and was put in a nice quiet room to wait. Talked to a couple of nurses about what was going on etc and my background and later on a doctor who then called in the CATT team.

I had a good chat with the CATT team. They were surprised that my medications have not been reviewed since before 2007. They have said I need to be on a different anti d and have reccommed a full review of meds. They will ring me tomorrow with an appoint to see the doctor next week. They are also going to ring me a few times just to touch base.

I am just pleased something is finally being done and that I have been listened to.

Just to reassure everyone I did not harm myself.


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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by Bluebird1 on Wed Jan 05, 2011 12:02 pm

I'm so glad to hear you have finally got some help though still appalled how long it has taken. Looking forward to hearing how you get on the doc and how you get on with your new treatment and meds.
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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by Guest on Thu Jan 06, 2011 4:53 am

Another very busy day at work. Was non-stop till about 1pm.

Went to Winz this afternoon for a food grant as I have spent this weeks food money on getting into Wellington and back for doctors, new meds and late night taxi from hospital (not cheap but safer).

Was expecting to have a fight on my hands as I have misplaced all the reciepts, as you do when unwell. Case manager accepted this and granted my food grant, went and got some meat on the way home and tomorrow I will do the rest of my shopping.

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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by Guest on Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:29 am

The CATT team ramg today, I have an appointment to get my meds reviewed on Tuesday. Have a friend comming with me.

Am not too bad atm despite being really busy at work and still no computers. MAy have to do some over-time next week to catch up.

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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by Guest on Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:30 am

Good Ros

I am enjoying your updates, keep it up and good luck

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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by mumtothree on Fri Jan 07, 2011 8:24 am

good luck for tuesday.
really please you didnt have to fight to get your food grant.
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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by Guest on Tue Jan 11, 2011 4:07 am

Had a shrink appointment today and it went really well.

I have been misdiagnoised as having boarderline personality disorder. We are going to explore that in my next session next week as to how that happened etc.

Over the next eight weeks am going to change anti depressant. Then also review the other medications I am on one by one.

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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by Bluebird1 on Tue Jan 11, 2011 4:30 am

Excellent news Rossie. Good for you that you kept persisting.
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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by mumtothree on Tue Jan 11, 2011 4:47 am

well done that is a hard label to loose so well done
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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by Guest on Tue Jan 11, 2011 5:36 am

Good on you Roswell for persevering cheers

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Re: Doing it alone yet again

Post by escadachic on Fri Feb 04, 2011 3:49 am

Just been reading all of your thread Roswell and have gotten through it all now.

I so get the whole bit about asking for help, having these people or support people who are supposed to be there looking after your mental health and really, they aren't doing shit. And I get the whole asking people for helping and reaching out, which is super difficult for me and then people either ignore me or change the subject. I too have an issue with cutting, but have been well controlled this depressive period and only done it once.

I wanted to say, there is one support group for people with depression or other mental illness. It's in Johnsonville at the community centre I think.

http://www.balance.org.nz/support/regional-support-groups/wellington-region


Last edited by escadachic on Fri Feb 04, 2011 3:51 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : editing link)
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