Dust Bunnies et al

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Dust Bunnies et al

Post by Paddy on Sun Nov 14, 2010 6:35 am

Hmmm. I suspect the time has come to stop having ‘Good Ideas’ cos they end up not to be, sigh.

I dunno – when will I learn?

What started out as a Dust Bunny killing expedition under me bed, morphed into a ‘Lets change the furniture around in the bedroom, Paddy, since we’re there’, sorta thing. ‘Yeah, OK’ says stupid Paddy.

My bed is on ‘risers’ to make it easier for me to get in and out of, ya know? I’m tall and me back is knackered, pffft. So, I lift each leg of the bed off the risers, get them outta the way, drag the chest of drawers from here to just over there, then turn the bed round, so instead of facing ‘across’ the little room, it’d be lengthwise in it, wouldn’t it. Alas and alack, the bed don’t ‘fit’ into the room lengthwise does it? Noooo Paddy, it doesn’t, does it. It does fit on an angle, as long as ya don’t mind the damage to the headboard etc, but I didn’t want it angled, did I? Noooo Paddy, you didn’t, did you.

So there we were. Bed jammed sideways, chest of drawers blocking the doorway and a pair of bed raisers I momentarily forgot about and tripped over. A cup of coffee and a shortbread later, things was still stuck, wasn’t they. Mutter fucking mutter.

The bed is back in the only possie it can be in. The drawers are right back where they were. The bed is lifted and back on the risers. Dust Bunnies have been sent to Dust Bunny Heaven and I, am absolutely knackered. Cor. What an idiot.

Having proven that to myself yet again, I can’t help but now think about the Mobility Scooter I just saw on the TV3 news – it has a 250cc petrol engine in it. Apparently the World Record speed for a Mobility Scooter Quarter mile drag is a mere 114km/hr.

I use a mobility scooter every day. Think of the time I’d save if it was a record beater, eh? Can ya see where this thought is leading?

Aye. The Emergency Room with my luck.

As soon as I saw the scooter they tried for the record on, I knew it wouldn’t make it, cos it used the wrong sort of engine. A four stroke bike engine will not deliver the speed in the first section of the Quarter mile drag strip – its torque bands are all wrong. A 250cc two stoke however, now there is an engine that will scream its heart out from the first drop of the clutch right to the Timing Lights at the end of the Quarter Mile. Or maybe, a Pulse Jet running on LPG. There’s an idea, hehe.

Sponsorship anyone? The Worlds Fastest Mobility Scooter – now there is a challenge a lot more fun than bedroom rearranging, by crikey. Prolly wouldn’t hurt any more than bedroom rearranging does, either. I could then defend me World Record at Bonneville just like Burt Monroe did. I can see the Movie title already – ‘The Worlds Fastest Fool.’

Hmmm. I suspect the time has come to stop having ‘Good Ideas’ cos they end up not to be, sigh.

I dunno – when will I learn?

What started out as a Dust Bunny killing expedition under me bed, morphed into a ‘Lets change the furniture around in the bedroom, Paddy, since we’re there’, sorta thing. ‘Yeah, OK’ says stupid Paddy.

My bed is on ‘risers’ to make it easier for me to get in and out of, ya know? I’m tall and me back is knackered, pffft. So, I lift each leg of the bed off the risers, get them outta the way, drag the chest of drawers from here to just over there, then turn the bed round, so instead of facing ‘across’ the little room, it’d be lengthwise in it, wouldn’t it. Alas and alack, the bed don’t ‘fit’ into the room lengthwise does it? Noooo Paddy, it doesn’t, does it. It does fit on an angle, as long as ya don’t mind the damage to the headboard etc, but I didn’t want it angled, did I? Noooo Paddy, you didn’t, did you.

So there we were. Bed jammed sideways, chest of drawers blocking the doorway and a pair of bed raisers I momentarily forgot about and tripped over. A cup of coffee and a shortbread later, things was still stuck, wasn’t they. Mutter fucking mutter.

The bed is back in the only possie it can be in. The drawers are right back where they were. The bed is lifted and back on the risers. Dust Bunnies have been sent to Dust Bunny Heaven and I, am absolutely knackered. Cor. What an idiot.

Having proven that to myself yet again, I can’t help but now think about the Mobility Scooter I just saw on the TV3 news – it has a 250cc petrol engine in it. Apparently the World Record speed for a Mobility Scooter Quarter mile drag is a mere 114km/hr.

I use a mobility scooter every day. Think of the time I’d save if it was a record beater, eh? Can ya see where this thought is leading?

Aye. The Emergency Room with my luck.

As soon as I saw the scooter they tried for the record on, I knew it wouldn’t make it, cos it used the wrong sort of engine. A four stroke bike engine will not deliver the speed in the first section of the Quarter mile drag strip – its torque bands are all wrong. A 250cc two stoke however, now there is an engine that will scream its heart out from the first drop of the clutch right to the Timing Lights at the end of the Quarter Mile. Or maybe, a Pulse Jet running on LPG. There’s an idea, hehe.

Sponsorship anyone? The Worlds Fastest Mobility Scooter – now there is a challenge a lot more fun than bedroom rearranging, by crikey. Prolly wouldn’t hurt any more than bedroom rearranging does, either. I could then defend me World Record at Bonneville just like Burt Monroe did. I can see the Movie title already – ‘The Worlds Fastest Fool.’

Hmmm. I suspect the time has come to stop having ‘Good Ideas’ cos they end up not to be, sigh.

I dunno – when will I learn?

What started out as a Dust Bunny killing expedition under me bed, morphed into a ‘Lets change the furniture around in the bedroom, Paddy, since we’re there’, sorta thing. ‘Yeah, OK’ says stupid Paddy.

My bed is on ‘risers’ to make it easier for me to get in and out of, ya know? I’m tall and me back is knackered, pffft. So, I lift each leg of the bed off the risers, get them outta the way, drag the chest of drawers from here to just over there, then turn the bed round, so instead of facing ‘across’ the little room, it’d be lengthwise in it, wouldn’t it. Alas and alack, the bed don’t ‘fit’ into the room lengthwise does it? Noooo Paddy, it doesn’t, does it. It does fit on an angle, as long as ya don’t mind the damage to the headboard etc, but I didn’t want it angled, did I? Noooo Paddy, you didn’t, did you.

So there we were. Bed jammed sideways, chest of drawers blocking the doorway and a pair of bed raisers I momentarily forgot about and tripped over. A cup of coffee and a shortbread later, things was still stuck, wasn’t they. Mutter fucking mutter.

The bed is back in the only possie it can be in. The drawers are right back where they were. The bed is lifted and back on the risers. Dust Bunnies have been sent to Dust Bunny Heaven and I, am absolutely knackered. Cor. What an idiot.

Having proven that to myself yet again, I can’t help but now think about the Mobility Scooter I just saw on the TV3 news – it has a 250cc petrol engine in it. Apparently the World Record speed for a Mobility Scooter Quarter mile drag is a mere 114km/hr.

I use a mobility scooter every day. Think of the time I’d save if it was a record beater, eh? Can ya see where this thought is leading?

Aye. The Emergency Room with my luck.

As soon as I saw the scooter they tried for the record on, I knew it wouldn’t make it, cos it used the wrong sort of engine. A four stroke bike engine will not deliver the speed in the first section of the Quarter mile drag strip – its torque bands are all wrong. A 250cc two stoke however, now there is an engine that will scream its heart out from the first drop of the clutch right to the Timing Lights at the end of the Quarter Mile. Or maybe, a Pulse Jet running on LPG. There’s an idea, hehe.

Sponsorship anyone? The Worlds Fastest Mobility Scooter – now there is a challenge a lot more fun than bedroom rearranging, by crikey. Prolly wouldn’t hurt any more than bedroom rearranging does, either. I could then defend me World Record at Bonneville just like Burt Monroe did. I can see the Movie title already –
‘The Worlds Fastest Fool.’

http://www.3news.co.nz/Man-pimps-his-grandmas-ride/tabid/423/articleID/186237/Default.aspx

Paddy.



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Paddy
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Re: Dust Bunnies et al

Post by Paddy on Mon Nov 15, 2010 7:09 am

I might just postpone my Scooter world speed record attempt, if its all right with you lot?

Shit oh dear, I'm in a lotta pain today, from me stupidity yesterday. I'd like to suggest that 'one day' I'll learn, ya know? But recent as well as ancient history suggests I won't.

Look after ya backs and neck, you lot.

Paddy the (slow movin) Fool.
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Paddy
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Number of posts : 1607
Age : 57
Location : Rangitikei
Registration date : 2008-09-25

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Re: Dust Bunnies et al

Post by DocLazy on Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:44 am

I thought the same thing when I saw the engine powering that scooter, no way in hell is that getting anywhere near 100km/hr.

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Re: Dust Bunnies et al

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