Binge eating

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Binge eating

Post by Apricot on Tue Oct 19, 2010 5:49 am

Am sooo angry at myself. If I could kick myself, I would.

Chocolate. Huge amount. Eating because of stress. but, that doesnt change the fact I have done it, and dont need all the calorific numbers settling on my already lard rrr's and hips.

I have replaced my alcohol habit with food. I have not had a drink since early this year, but now.....food, I cant stop....same as I was with drink. I get so angry at myself.
As a teen I was a binge eater, starver.....laxative purger.....

Also over weekend had feelings of wanting to gouge arms. Didnt, but still those awful feelings. Finding it hard to cope. Grateful I see a councelor tomorow who I get on really well with.

I dont fit the MHU criteria at present, but so grateful I have a councelor at least.

Depressed. Putting on weight by the day. Hardly anything fits anymore. No energy, the heavier one is, the harder it all is.
Bugger!
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Apricot

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Re: Binge eating

Post by Guest on Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:00 am

Intresting this should come up today of all days. I attended a seminar on eating disorders today as part of my work. It was very intresting. They said eating disorders are akin/or like a form of self harm. When you purge you are expressing the turmoil which you feel inside, just like when you cut.

What scared me today was we went through a series of slides on at risk behaviours such as rectricting intake (skipping meals), binge eating and purgeing which are all behaviours I have / do find myself doing when stressed or anxious.


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Re: Binge eating

Post by Guest on Tue Oct 19, 2010 10:12 pm

Hi Apricot

Firstly arohanui hugs and thank you for your support and well wishes. This is also you, you that is there for others, you that care about members. I am so pleased you have been able to share what is happening in your world and hopefully we can help you through this.

Binge-eating and vomiting food is self harm. Self image and self esteem plummets. I had a visit from my support worker this morning and we discussed binge-eating (a problem sometimes for me also)

Huge huge accolades for stopping drinking - I love you you are gaining control of your life - empowering you. The next step is to handle binge-eating and self image issues that hurt. Repressed anger at ourselves is not a good space either. (past - pain) Hopefully your councillor can help you with this.

Advice that Paddy gave me was to trick myself by eating the bigger meal during the day and snack a bit at night.

fun foods: to stop smoking - which may help for drinking
Popcorn - scoff fast
Hard boiled lollies - sux hard- keep some in your bag (that way when you see a store of goodies, remind your-self you already have some sweets)
Hummus and rice crackers
Tomato dip stuff - very low in calories, with rice crackers.
Reduce bread - swap bread for weetbix in the morning.


As for carrots and celery.... YUCKKKKK LOL

I also pour a 1.5ltr bottle with water and a 750ml bottle with water. The rule is - I have to drink it all by the end of the day.... works - a challenge I set and am still winning.

My biggy is sweets...sugar!! so I'm hearing you about the chocolate... the goal: suck on a sweet instead.

Maybe keep a weight loss/gain journal on this thread and we can support each over.

Over to you dear Apricot

Hope something in my wee message helps

Prayers on their way.

Poetry





sunny

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Re: Binge eating

Post by Apricot on Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:26 am

thanks so much Poetry. You have given me some great ideas. Your message helps heaps.XO

I really like the water idea, I dont drink near enough of it, plain, for what ever reason preferring to drink tea or coffee.....and I really dont believe for one moment that they do what water does for us.

Have been reading a terrific memoir of recovery by barb rogers. When barb would ring her sponsor with a craving or problem, the sponsor would reply with... well, have you moped the floor?, go do it, then ring me back, then, have you cleaned your fridge, go do so, then call me back, and thus it went on, so I am also trying this out....can tell you, I have achieved tons in the last couple of days!!

Addictions are very strong. Will do my best, one day at a time.

Like the idea of a weight thread, but at present just a bit too busy to come in on regular schedule. Back in the court arena. Seems to be looking better this time round.
Love and thanks Apricot
XO
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Apricot

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Re: Binge eating

Post by Bluezero on Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:27 am

Hey Apricot

I know what you mean by binge eating. I have that same problem too. Once or twice a week I will binge eat. Eat a packet of biscuits, a packet of iced animals, a big block of chocolate and 4 cans of diet coke. By the time I've finished I feel really guilty about eating it all.

But I've read some articles about women losing weight. There was this one woman in Thats Life magazine, she weighed 142kg but now she weighs 62kg. She spent 2 and a half years losing all that weight. So I'm thinking, if she can do it, I can too. Today's been alright but I might have some avocado and crackers soon.

Cheers.

Bluezero
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Re: Binge eating

Post by Apricot on Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:26 pm

Hi Blue'

Thanks for sharing. I binged again yesterday. I had so many feelings, and so many words running thru my head. I had started the day really well, and had been so pleased with myslef, I had cleaned out both the chest freezer, and the one above fridge.....and I found icecream didnt I....now just last weekend I had decided to buy something with berries, as I am allergic, thus...I would not touch, but what did I find, some lovely left over french vanilla.....so when those damn voices got too much and feeling where overwhelming.......off came the lid.And I will be honest, the lid did not go back on......ate all there was....just like when I was drinking....drunk till all gone.

I have no control over IT. I know I am meant to be able to control myslef, but....I dont feel I am able to.
I wonder if that lady will actually be able to keep that weight off for ever. I hope she can/does, but.....its all so very hard.
I am the heaviest I have ever been. I hate it. It embarrases me, if I want to put out the rubbish, or check the mail box, anything at the front of the yard where passers by may see me....I have to go to the mirror, and try to hide my weight. I said TRY....because really I cant anymore. I am very down at present.
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Apricot

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Re: Binge eating

Post by Shadeofgrey on Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:58 am

Hi Apricot.

First of all, hugs and love! Do not hate yourself because you seem like a gorgeous woman. I'm in the same position as you hun, I know the feeling of self-hatred and hopelessness all too well.

I hope the counselling is working for you! It's good to share with someone that will tell you, like me, that its a hard thing to work through, but you can come out of it. I think the best thing to do is to be easy on yourself. Don't cut ALL the bad things out. For me, it is the fact that I can't have bad food that makes it all the more tempting, and I have to finish what I'm eating. Weight loss should be a very gradual thing, and life-changing. Don't take heed of crash diets in the ladies magazines as they don't work for most people. The bingeing is a real addiction and eating bad food for overweight people is akin to taking heroin; the more you eat, the more you need to satisfy the urge. But like all addictions, it can be broken, but it takes time. My favourite tactic is replacing snacks with tea and eating before I go grocery shopping.

Let's do this together Smile.

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Re: Binge eating

Post by Neb on Wed Mar 05, 2014 1:54 pm

I can relate to all this....I stuff myself to vomiting point....can be sick for days....it is a compulsion....fits in nicely to all the other weird things I do, and can beat myself up with....I have turned self harm into an art form!

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