Havent been on here in so long

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Havent been on here in so long

Post by lifeshouldbegreat on Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:08 am

Some of you may know me,some may remember me,many of you probably have no idea who I am

I needed to come back here because I need to vent,without fear of critisism and judgement,but in the last year my life has been on a downward spin and its not to do with my depression but affects it so here goes


Last year I was diagnosed with a virus that will forever be in my system
My mum had ongoing liver problems and it was suspected she had scerosis of the liver or cancer,to this day we dont know what it is
My Dads heart stopped,he almost died and had to have a pacemaker put in after weeks in hospital
6 weeks later my cousin died from lung cancer
My sister in law is pregnant,they didnt want a 3rd child,I DO
I then find out that my back is so severly screwed that if I try to have another child I could end up in a wheelchair
My in laws showed me how much they dislike me by giving me cheap xmas pressies,it would be fine if my husbands brothers wife wasnt next to me opening the expensive gifts they gave her
My marriage almost collapses because of my stupid state of mind
I have gained 13 kgs in 3 months
My nan is put in a home,my aunty who is in charge of all my nans life decides she doesnt need a phone,so my daily ph calls to my nan have stopped,I no longer have a way to talk to my nan and she lives too far away to visit without budgeting and planning,plus I dont drive
My sister in law wrote some very hurtful things on facebook about me
I get wryneck which even volataren,muscle relaxants and codiene do not get rid of the pain and finally after 4 weeks of waiting I have physio on tuesday
And finally my mum tells me today she has Emphysema

want to know the best bit??this is the stellar part of my pathetic story,I AM NOT ON MY MEDS BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS DOING WELL WITHOUT THEM!!!!!! cheers

GO ME MY LIFE FUCKEN ROCKS
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lifeshouldbegreat

Number of posts : 110
Age : 30
Location : Wellington,NZ
Registration date : 2008-10-23

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Re: Havent been on here in so long

Post by Paddy on Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:12 am

Aw Lifey hon.

Welcome back to our family again Lifey - I often wonder how you and your wee family are.

Now, I know this aint the same, but maybe, you and nan could be writing letters to each other, for the time being? I bet she'd love to get some real mail, and especially from her Lifey. Maybe you could include a stamped, self-addressed envelope in your first letter, to make it just that bit easier for nan to reply?

You take care, eh? Lots. flower
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Paddy
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Re: Havent been on here in so long

Post by britelite on Mon Apr 12, 2010 4:39 am

hiya lifey...I love the new avatar, simply too sweet...for your girls to be looking like that you are being an awesome Mum!!

You are so lucky with your Dad hun...my Dad died suddenly almost 17 years ago and I am still sad for the fact that I never said things that I should have. Same with your Mum...yep she has got emphysema which is horrid...but you have got life telling you to not waste moments and words.
I so wish I could reverse time and really talk to my Dad and tell him my feelings and really share with him. I am trying to do this with Mum, it takes practise to speak honestly from the heart but it is enriching.

I know it is hard but do your best to ignore the inlaws...mine told hubby for years that I wasn't good enough, and told other family members that I was a useless wife and mother...oddly enough now we are nearly the only couple still together and our kids are the 'best' grandkids...are the inlaws can't work out why they aren't my favorite people.

So sorry to hear you really can't have any more bubs. After my 3rd miscairage I had to lose all my womanly bits. So I had my 2 and not the tribe that I had always dreamed of. So the biggest hug from my heart to yours hun. (ps; even though it is nearly 10 years I still get pissed off when I here a female moan about an unwanted pregnancy)

be kind to yourself hun
britey
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britelite

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