just a groan..

Hey qwerky, how you doing today?

hi qwerky hope you doing ok today

Doesn't really matter at the moment.

Oh qwerky honey, not in a good place?

Remember the tools: remember to breathe, to take time out for you, remember to give yourself some space. You will be ok again.

I'm at work right now. No one wants to talk to me, because I don't feel like talking. No one asked me how my weekend was. I know they don't like me.

I want to get run over, or hit. I want to eat something funny. I don't want to be here. I was coming in on the train and I started to get so depressed. Then when I saw my boss this morning my heart dropped and I almost cried because i'm so sad

I went on Saturday, And they are absolutely adorable. I still wish I could take them home and I do get sad with the kittens who have to be kept in cages...sigh. But I know they're well looked after.

.

I've sent you my ph number, in case you want to talk.. no pressure

I got your PM - Thanks. you're very kind.

.

Life is just not fair. I hate having up and down moments. I don't know what to do anymore.

GAH!

.

It's hopeless.

It seems so pointless, so so pointless *sigh*

sigh

Hi Querky, long time since we last chatted. Sorry to hear you are not feeling the best, I am still around on MSN and FB and you also have my phone number in case you want to chat at any time. Take care. Judy

OMG I HATE IT.

Wow, My emotions have gone up and down and up and down today!!

I want it over! I need life to be over. I just want to be happy, but I really don't know how long it will be until that happens - If ever!
I know if I get another job, I'll end up getting bored with that one too, and i'll need to move on again or it will drive me insane.

I'm a useless human being! I don't want to be here, let alone deserve it.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm doing what I can to get better.
I'm going to the gym now, i'm looking for a new job, i'm doing something for myself as well as volunteering at an animal shelter!
I own my own house, I have two beautiful kittens and the greatest partner in the wholy bloody world!

I have people who know about me, and are there for me, are helpful and they encourage.

I seriously am a horrible person. Someone who truly doesn't deserve the life I have. I'm such an ungrateful little cow!!

qwerky90 wrote:OMG I HATE IT.

Wow, My emotions have gone up and down and up and down today!!

I want it over! I need life to be over. I just want to be happy, but I really don't know how long it will be until that happens - If ever!

I seriously am a horrible person. Someone who truly doesn't deserve the life I have. I'm such an ungrateful little cow!!

I don't think you're a horrible person for being unhappy even though the externals of your life are good. You are the sum of your internals AND your externals.

*hugs*

Life sucks and I wish I wasn't here

It's unlikely it is going to unsuck all by itself, qwerky mate.

I do understand that it can be very hard to find smiles and little things that tickle ya fancy and help keep ya going till ya find you're doing OK;
but hon, if ya don't look for them, if ya don't open yourself to the possibility that they exist and that they can exist for you, then I think that you are serving yourself up a whole lot of self-misery that you don't actually deserve.

How about, you pause in mid-groan here and tomorrow evening, you tell me three things that you noticed and that made you smile. And if your train ride in doesn't provide three things alone, then sheesh.

And if you think three things are hard, wait till Wednesday, cos it might be five, and the train ride mightn't count. You might have to notice flowers at the railway station, and the statue of Kupe (have you ever stood and seen that?). Hmmm. C'mon hon, you CAN do this. It does take effort and determination. Kick the Blues up the Bum qwerks, Go on.

Oh. And go to a Crystal Shop like Auntie Paddy told you to, qwerky. Its waiting for you and you'll know it when you see it. Don't matter if you go to the one in U/h, L/H or in Cuba St in the city, its waiting. A little crystal cave.

Paddy.

You're truly wonderful Paddy
xx

Yeah well, since this is turning into an Appreciation Society, you ain't that too unwonderful yourself, don't forget.

I wish I had your 'photographic eye' - as you know, your camera lets you see what you mightn't; and that you take a pretty interesting picture when you remember to make the effort. But thats enough being nice for one night - sweet dreams, and keep ya eyes on tomorrow, lol.

Dear Qwerky

If your job is crap and toxic and making you ill, leave it.

I did and I'm a Registered Nurse. The bullying and PC crap made me sick, literally and now I am here.

I'm poor and I'm on meds but I am looking for something brighter.

Peace and Love to you qwerky do what's right for you because if the job is making you feel terrible your whole life will feel crap and no job is worth that.

Martine

I am trying to leave it - but I can't just quit as I own a house.

thank you for you truthful words Martine

Qwerky,
Oh wherefore art thoust, qwerky?
Surely you didn't think I'd forget Homework time? Oh no, not this lad.

Three Things. Mmmmmm? You can do it.

Paddy.

Hi qwerky, I agree with Martine

I was in a job that gave me a break down(only you never heard of that sort of thing back in the 80s) I would get off the bus and almost vomit at the door before going in...I would be having panic attacks on the inside and just be so calm on the out side that know one would know..I have become very clever at covering up... I would be looking around and everything would be slow motion and I would be screaming inside "GET ME OUT OF HERE"...I worked 50 or 60 hours a week with out a break(didnt know I had rights back then when I was 17 years old)..I was yelled at.told I was too fat and what I was wearing was wrong and sent home to get changed one time and then sent home again as it still wasnt right....breath....grrrrrrr.

What I wouldnt give to go back and help my self...

It is not worth it..try to find something else..dont just quit but put your energy into that and stuff your job ..its JUST a job..You are not saving the world..they are just silly little people that wont matter in a year from now

And YOU matter
and Your life matters

there.......Rave over