Where is the light?

Day like all the others
Being a mother wife and mother
Life looks black and grey and deep can’t see the end can’t see the start
I feel bad and ugly, scared
Fat and fatter, fat and scared
Hate myself hate myself hate myself mad cow
Who deserves a life with me in tow?
They look at me oddly wanting to see
When will I snap, am I really me. Don’t want to be
Mental illness sick and wrong, sick of talking about it.. singing this song

Get up, go for a walk you will be right
Phone a friend, talk about it all night if you must
Silence. getting on living their lives, don’t have the time, maybe the thought
Now and then
Be happy you’re here with all of us
In death you’re alone
And in life
So alone
Stand up sit down switch on and switch off, can I be bothered
No never negative zilch
Maybe some clothes, pretty for thin
Trendy and likeable will let me in
An appearance so normal might help me believe
Life is worth living
Catch others up
They left me behind. Living laughing having a bath
Not me
Sitting staring thinking hating
No washing dirty hating
Where do I go what do I do
Children will be back smiling looking for me
Who am I, where will I be

wow
thats brilliant

you made my day iam still in the ward thats brilliant cheers

SEEING LIGHT 09/08/06





I saw a Rainbow today

Nothing exceptional in that – except

I didn’t just notice a rainbow, I actually saw it.



Vibrant colours became evident to me

Colours that invaded my dark world of gray

Colours I had believed were lost to me until

I saw a rainbow today.



As rainbows go it was a timid wee thing

Scarcely imprinting itself against the skyscape

And yet – I saw it – a rainbow – today.



Doubtless it has meaning in meteorological terms

But to me it meant much more because

Through my depression, I saw a rainbow today.



Goodness knows those Rainbow Days can seem few and far between, but they are there, I promise. No Pot of Gold waiting but, unless the Gold is in the Noticing?



Take Gentle Care of you, eh Jaz?

There was a rainbow over Upper Hutt earlier this week. I saw it while out walking our dogs. It was faint against the gray sky but still a half cirlce of light.

woh, jazipup and Paddy - they are amazing pieces of writing. so powerful, thank you both for sharing