this ones for meeee

Thank the heavens Mis, I'm so relieved for you.

congrats misty

thankyou guys!!!!!!!

now i just have to get the gremlins outs of my brain and all will be good with the world!!!!

but at least now i know i not got bung boob.

ii have got the flu, its not really really bad but its pretty awful
so i have not been able to work all week
my boss is in a bit of a flap coz its just me and him
and the new girl got sick after one day
so yea
he is a bit bothered

and i feel responsible
yes i know i shouldnt
but i do

my lil son had a great birthday
he kept telling me it was his best birthday ever
and considering his father didnt turn up coz he was "sick" seemed not to bother him as much as i thought

but you can never really know what is going on in their darling heads
his dad has made no contact all week
so
i think
his father is a utter utter bastard

and thats all i have to say about that

i been figuring as you do when ya head full of the flu
that
being mentally ill is not just about being slightly unhinged
its about being aware too
aware off stuff that "normal folk" just dont see

its like a blind person has extra sensitive hearing, because they can't see

well us folk whom are "unwell" have extra sensitive emotions, we react when others don't.

so we are quite special really

if only we could find a way to use our powers for good

we would be super heros
and everyone would want us

fluey brains talk a lot shit aye
yup
they do
lol
gave me a giggle tho

still full of gunk from this blimmen flu/cold
my boss isnt too happy i not think
i canna help it laddy

im sure he will cope

my brain been very anxious about letting him down
but i just know
that i not well enuff to be cleaning soot off of walls and windows of burnt houses

it would just make me feel worser

so get over myself i say

my bugs have packed up and moved out!!!
yayayayayayay!!

i am so pleased about that


its jolly cold here tonight tho

but its alllllll good coz i not sick anymoore!!!

i have had the best night ever

i have had a good end of week, i got some stuff seen to with regards to my lil son at school, am just waiting for follow up on that. it really thru me but i am feeling better about it now.
went to the hospital for cervix checkup after having high grade abnormal cells removed last year, that was not plesant at all, and i think it effected my mood for a couple of days, made me very emotional.
i was ment to go to hospital on wed for boob check up too
but was busy at the school
so they rang me and told me not to miss the one they have rebooked for me next week. i am thinking that maybe something is up
coz i have missed appointments b4 and usually you wait another couple of weeks to be seen, they told me it was very important that i make it next week.
so i will make very sure that i get there.
i am fairly certain it is about the results, i already know what they say coz i went and saw my dr, he got a copy of them. but i guess all will be revealed on wednesday.
apart from that, my lil son's dad is still being useless, oh and my lil son needs blood tests to find out why he is getting pins and needles in his feet all the time, im sure its a lack of vit b12, but the dr said if it is that then they will want to know why he isnt absorbing it. any way
i think my meds are helping
so thats a good thing
coz i really could be freaking out
about everything
coz health is my anxiety trigger, well one of them
and i am not too fussed
i am really enjoying work
so thats good.

Hello Mista .... Sounds to me like you're coping really well. Good luck with the hospital appt next week.

Good on YOU! .................. Daze

i am not feeling very good today at all
i feel like i am coming down off something
i thought i was tired so i had a nana nap
but i still feel strange
maybe im anxious?
stupid fecking anxiety changes its form so bloody often i cant tell what is what

i might be thirsty, perhaps
fecked if i know what is going on

im very nervous now
about my app tomorrow
they better not want to cut things
i will be most upset

but as my dear mama pointed out
"do you want to die of breast cancer?"
well no
ofcoarse not
but
i dont want things removed UNLESS its serious
not just coz they don't know

blah
im gunna go make a coffee
and see what that does for the situation in my head

Hi mista ..... I had breast cancer about 12 years ago ... 2 ops, then tamoxifen for 5 years ... all good now. Try not to worry too much - worry is like a rocking chair - takes a lot of energy but gets you nowhere!!!!

Stay cool .............. Daze

thanks daze

all will be revealed tomorrow at my app
im just a worrier by nature

but tomorrow
i will know

alrighty then
i am to go back in 3 months
seems that it would be a good idea to cut the duct out
but, they are not that worried
so thats allllllllll good
if anything changes then i go back sooner
but i know in my heart of hearts that i am fine and dandy
i just have a silly boob
well silly boob
take your sillyness some place else
im all fulled up here!

saw my shrink yesturday
have come up with a plan of attack for my big son
to try and stop him smoking pot
i typed it all up
he has agreed to it
and he has a copy on his bedroom wall as do i

i feel rather whacked today
i feel like i need a rest
its hard work fixing your head
and even harder fixing your childs

my lil cousin, tried to kill herself last week
she needed major surgery
very sad
and mad
but mostly sad
we came very close to loosing her
her dum are boy friend told no one
except for a cryptic text to her brother
fucking bastard
i am really angry that this has happened to her
i wish i could be there for her
but she in another country
i hope she gets some decent help
and stays away from that creep of a man
but alas
i know it will take a while for her to come to her senses
always does