Dear Who-Ever-Is-In-Charge-Up-There

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Dear Who-Ever-Is-In-Charge-Up-There

Post by logical-cents on Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:11 pm

Dear Who-Ever-Is-In-Charge-Up-There,

I've got a bone to pick with you, there's a few things that I would really like.


I'd like to be 'normal', well you know as normal as you can be, live life without this suffering that I do.

I'd like to be able to wake up in the morning and look forward to the day.

I'd like to be able to sleep properly at night, without having to rely on meds.

I'd like to be able to do my job and housework without making sure everything has to be perfect.

I'd like to not have to fight of voices in order to try keep myself safe.

I'd like to be able to do stuff without having to count it out to make sure it's in even numbers and/or groups of 3.

I'd like to be able to handle stuff better and not over think every little thing.

I'd like to not have to be on so many meds and try remember when to take what. I don't want to have to rely on them for the rest of my life just to keep me alive and manage to get through each day.

I'd like to be able to walk to a crowd and not feel anxious or that everyone is looking at me or out to get me.

I don't want to second guess people and suspect that they are out to get me.

So ya see all I'm really asking is to be like any other slightly sane person out there. Is that really too much to ask??


Sincerely yours
Lisa
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logical-cents

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Re: Dear Who-Ever-Is-In-Charge-Up-There

Post by Guest on Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:21 pm

I am not in charge up there but I wanted to tell you something Lisa,

You know what I am finding out,

I am finding out that there are more people 'out there' just like you and me....the more I talk to someone about this depression and the impact it has had on me and my family (ie trying to take one's own life earlier this year), the more I learn that they are doing the same or similar.

I have also learnt that there are alot more people who do walk in the crowd and feel anxious, upset, paranoid, to name a few. There are loads that hide behind a smile and pleasantries...more than we could ever imagine.

So many of them 'secretly' rely on meds to sleep and function - I don't feel so bad now I have started to talk to them. Most of them open up quite quickly when I tell them what I have, how it started and why. Yeah I know it takes courage to do that, but once done, there is no turning back.

In a way I have made some new 'good' friends because of this depression, they understand and they don't judge (well they don't appear too).

What is normal? Normal is you and me it would seem. Normal is Paddy, Qwerky, Daze, Books, Zen, Folly, JK, Bluebird, Me, peterpam, Roswell, becks, traceylee and all the other folk here.

Normal is what normal is for each one of us. If we all lived the same way life would be so boring for each and every one of us.

Could you imagine it? Going next door to visit your neighbour and seeing that they live exactly like you do...Hoping on the bus and finding everyone with the same mannerisms, it would drive me more insane (opps already there!!)

We are all already normal, perhaps we just want to personalise our normality more??

Question

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Re: Dear Who-Ever-Is-In-Charge-Up-There

Post by logical-cents on Wed Dec 09, 2009 9:36 pm

Yes ML, I know all that. I know plenty of people with depression. But today I've had enough.

Is it to much to wish for something we can't change?? Is it to much to consider living a fairly normal life?? I never said that we should all be the same, yes that would be boring. But every now and again it can be nice to dream of what you don't have, of what you can't have, and of what you can't change.

Yea ok so I've accepted I've got depression, I've kinda accepted that I'm probably gonna have to be on meds the rest of my life. Yea I'm starting to realise that I'm more than likely gonna have to add in a sleeping pill and anti-anxiety meds as well as increase my dosage of both AD's next week. All that doesn't mean that when I see them all sitting there on the bench in a line that I stand there looking at them and am so pleased to be taking them. I'm not, there are many times I wish I could bin them all, times I wish that I could just not take them, times when I do.

Just because one person might accept what they have to deal with does not mean there are times that person might wish for things to be different.

Today that is what I am wishing.
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Re: Dear Who-Ever-Is-In-Charge-Up-There

Post by Guest on Wed Dec 09, 2009 9:52 pm

Welllllll then - good on you, they (I must admit that I dont know who they are) say that if you hope/wish and dream then one day, those hopes/wishes and dreams may come true!

I do wish for things to be different, for me anyway, but I am hoping this is a 'temporary thing' for not only me, but for everyone else. I do now accept that I am probably just 'normal' like everyone else (sorry that was the point of my ramble), it is just that my normal is different to everyone elses!

But we can all hope and wish, and that is what I do too... Smile

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Re: Dear Who-Ever-Is-In-Charge-Up-There

Post by becks on Wed Dec 09, 2009 10:54 pm

Hey LC I hear and understand what you are talking about. Like a Star @ heaven I get fed up with having to take all the bloody meds just to get through the day and just wish my life was easier and more 'normal' too. I'm hoping one day my friend that we will have a better quality of life and that it all is a lot easier than what it is now. flower
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Re: Dear Who-Ever-Is-In-Charge-Up-There

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