How the hell can life be so damn unfair??

Just found out a workmate died today, collapsed and had a seizure in his isle and then died, not sure what caused it yet. This is the guy that recommended his doc to me, he had bi-polar, was a good guy.

Had another workmate die earlier this year, she was too young to go as well. Another workmate is still currently in hospital, where she has been for the 3 or so weeks with meningitis and she nearly died. Another workmate has been in and out of hospital the last 8 months with heart problems. 2 weeks ago we had another member in hospital who had to be rushed to surgery to get his appendix out. Another workmate had a hysterectomy a few months ago. And the same time the first workmate died another workmate got charged for the 2 stabbings in Cambridge.

Holy fuck, how many more things can bloody well go wrong?? None of these people deserve this (except the guy that done the stabbing)

Maybe it's me, maybe I've brought the bad luck on this year. It's only been really since July all this stuff has been happened. Maybe that's why my friend didn't want me at her wedding. Maybe I've got some sort of bad luck vibe thing or such going on. Who knows, who cares.

Hi there LC

How can this be your fault, how can you have brought bad luck?

We care here - remember that.

We (ie Pete and I) had 18 people die in one year a few years ago - all either relatives or good friends. Unfortunately shit happens - but you have not brought it on ok?

take good care of you.

I don't know ML. Just blaming myself. Why?? I couldn't stop it, but I am. I'm not strong enough to cope with this.

Ok - if I was in your situation and had the same feelings and explained them - my ACC councillor would tell me that my critical child is coming out - my nurturing parent needs to come out and I would need to self soothe.

Can you try and calm your self down?

You know deep down it is not your fault.

You know deep down you could not have stopped any of this.

Youn know deep down that you are hurting because of the losses.

You know deep down that you have to cope with this.

I know deep down that you can.

Everyone here knows deep down that you can.

Like me, you are not haveing a good year.

Hang in there friend because next year should be better.

please

I might know deep down all that, but cannot feel/see it at the moment. It's too much.

Am going to a victim support meeting thing at work this morning.

good can you let me know how you get on?

Went ok I guess, she gave me some pamphlet things and is gonna give me a call on Thursday to see how I'm doing. She's also gonna talk to the owner about why I didn't get rung to be told. I found out via a comment on Facebook which is not the nicest way to find out. Funeral is on Wednesday here in Cambridge, so will talk to manager when I go back into work tonight and check it's ok if I take a few hours off to go to that.

Well funeral is tomorrow, will be quite of few of us walking over to it. Then sounds like there may be drinks on after it put on by the owner. Guess it's not everyday that you can say you get paid to go to a funeral.

well no.... not everyday.

Keep your chin up ay if you can.

And remember - your allowed to cry...

Mylife is SO right - you are allowed to cry, in fact it should be encouraged. And what better place and time than a funeral, it is hardly going to be inappropriate after all!