Alcohol

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Alcohol

Post by laworder on Thu Nov 12, 2009 2:56 pm

I came here tonight initially to vent, but got distracted posting to/ replying on some other threads here... and I now feel considerably better as a result...

So once again, a big Thank you to Paddy!

But anyway, on to what I originally set out to do...

My partner drinks - not all the time now, thank God, but he had a couple of bottles of wine tonight. Partly because of this I felt sad and down. He hasn't been drinking much at all in the last few weeks though.

I hate alcohol. I have grown to hate it wiith a passion in the last couple of years. I suspect is is a lot of the reason for his depression issues in the last 2-3 years, and has definitely made things worse. When he was drinking heavily things were absolutely horrible, for both of us, and I ended up in a pit of despair. I lost all hope, and seriously considered doing some very crazy things - see Fantasies thread...

I dont want to go there again.

Sometimes I wish we had Prohibition - I know that it wouldn't work in reality, but life without alcohol would be a fuck site easier for both of us. I never used to drink very much, now hardly touch it at all, and wouldn't miss it if I never drank again.
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laworder

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Re: Alcohol

Post by daze7 on Thu Nov 12, 2009 8:49 pm

Hi Laworder, I was brought up in an alcoholic environment - Dad was drunk everyday of my life from when I was about 10 or 12 until he stopped drinking at 70 + years (he ran out of money but he never changed his attitude). I cannot calculate the money he spent, lost, frittered away. Before he drank a lot, he was absent (workaholic) as he worked from about 5 or 6 am til 9 or 10 every night. He was around a bit some weekends - but would sleep in the afternoon. (He was 'present but unavailable')

Both grandfathers, and a stepgrandfather, had problems with alcohol - we grandchildren never knew them.

I married into a violent famiy who drank a lot too - my first mother-in-law was a weekend drunk - Friday night til Sunday - but if I 'd asked Peg if she wanted a drink on say a Wednesday - she's say no, got work tomorrow! She drank to cope with the violence and hidings she'd get from her husband.

My older sister is alcoholic - three ex-brothers-in-law probably are, and some family members are into the dope and drugs.

I also drank when young - got into some strife - shudder to think of it now! Not an issue for me now - I might have a tiny, tiny glass of beer 6 times a year! It doesn't do anything for me and of course doesn't mix with meds too well.

I too would ban all alcohol if given the choice - I realise this is an extreme view - but understandable in the circumstances. I haven't had any wild fantasies (yet) ... mmmm ... food for thought! I have enough anger to fuel some though!

Thank goodness there is more education out there now, although one wouldnt know it looking at the 'drinking culture' of NZ. Huge problem - but those of us 'in recovery' at least know counselling and psycholtherapy is available (although limited).

Daze
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Re: Alcohol

Post by daze7 on Thu Nov 12, 2009 9:00 pm

Sorry Laworder! .... Just realised this is the ventilation room - and you may not have wanted any replies ..... Daze
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Re: Alcohol

Post by greasemonkey on Fri Nov 13, 2009 12:09 am

vent away
untill you gain a buzz beneath the pain.

Thats what great venting dose for US ALL!

When youre clear
the world is beautiful
even when your husband is fucking useless
and drunk with it.

He will work it out when he see's your happiness
not your distaste!

Idea
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Re: Alcohol

Post by laworder on Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:55 am

Thanks Daze, replies most welcome, I would have put something to the effect that I didnt want replies if so, and your reply is heartening. I know I am not the only one out there facing this issue, but it is nice all the same to hear from others who have been through it

greasemonkey you make a good point. When he isnt drinking I always try and show him I am happy and give him positive feedback - and keep my gob shut when he is. It is hard to see the world's beauty sometimes though when someone you love is drinking themselves to death (and making their depression worse)
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Re: Alcohol

Post by greasemonkey on Tue Nov 17, 2009 12:35 pm

laworder wrote:Thanks Daze, replies most welcome, I would have put something to the effect that I didnt want replies if so, and your reply is heartening. I know I am not the only one out there facing this issue, but it is nice all the same to hear from others who have been through it

greasemonkey you make a good point. When he isnt drinking I always try and show him I am happy and give him positive feedback - and keep my gob shut when he is. It is hard to see the world's beauty sometimes though when someone you love is drinking themselves to death (and making their depression worse)


I am So Sorry LnO.

Basically, if someone dosnt wanna help themselves they wont.
Going for support yourself is a good idea though.
Daze could point you in the right direction in the AA Groups.
They CARE for Ppl whose wife or husband have gone too-far with their alcohol intake.
I have read books on what they do in there
and many of their techniques are used in healing other addiction problems.

Please look after yourself, mainly.
Stay close to your love-light where
you will know what to do or say always.


Crying or Very sad


Last edited by greasemonkey on Tue Nov 17, 2009 12:37 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : green paint)
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Re: Alcohol

Post by laworder on Wed Nov 18, 2009 7:45 am

Thanks gm, yes, have looked up the Al Anon groups here on the web, they meet quite close to me. Certainly it is another place to reach out to for support if I need it. I once stumbled upon a forum a bit like this one but for people in the situation where they have alcohol addicted partners, I had a wee vent thing there, they were very good, although not locally based. Must go and catch up with them

Regards
Peter
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Re: Alcohol

Post by greasemonkey on Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:46 am

yes,
its also good to hang in there a while...
you can not only pick-up things but will find you are in the right place
just in the nick of time
to help someone else with what you have learnt about survival.

We must attend to our own Hearts
and keep ourselves clear
before we can love our Partners
in the manner love wants to love them!

afro
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Re: Alcohol

Post by peterpam on Wed Nov 18, 2009 7:21 pm

Well said GM, take care laworder.

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Re: Alcohol

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