Recipe Ideas Please?

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Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by Paddy on Thu Sep 24, 2009 8:31 am

I’m looking for some recipes for fresh cat meat please – maybe a casserole or something – something that cooks the cat slowly and a damn sight more tenderly than she deserves, preferably.

No, I’m not all that well pleased with That Bloody Tabby tonight, just in case you had not noticed.

I had to go to my doctors today, and I locked the cat inside, as per, (or purr?) with ample food and fresh milk out for her. I got some more milk on the way home but didn’t get bread, ‘cos I have to go out again tomorrow and I knew I had enough nice multigrain bread to ‘do me’.

‘Cept, after I got back from the doctors, I couldn’t find me bread, could I?

I found the bag it had been in – and I’m reasonably sure I didn’t leave it where it was found. But, the bag was empty – about as full as my brain was of alternative meal ideas, to be honest.

So, I made a coffee ‘n sat down in me Chair ‘n pondered the Great Marton Bread Mystery.

During the course of me pondering, me eyes casually wandered over the entrance to the little carpet-covered ‘cat cave’ thingy in the corner.

It had bread in it. Several slices, nice looking multigrain by the looks but none intact enough to do much other than say Bah Humbug about. I’m almost 100% convinced I didn’t put there, Puss. So, it had to be TBT, didn’t it?

Then, when I was down on my hands and knees trying to get the crumbs ‘n crusts outa the cave, TBT went and overturned the rubbish bin and scattered that all thru the kitchen, just ‘cos, I think. Father is not well pleased.

But, I have decided, I do love TBT and I do want her. Skewered, maybe? Cat Kebabs, anyone? Please Note However - Recipe ideas involving Bread Crumbs are not considered funny tonight.
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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by peterpam on Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:10 am

lol, Pat, sorry can't help with this one hun.

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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by daze7 on Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:17 am

oh, I don't know - cat meatballs would be nice - the breadcrumbs would be disguised! ...... Daze
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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by Me on Thu Sep 24, 2009 12:15 pm

The little monster, but you love it any way.

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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by Guest on Thu Sep 24, 2009 8:59 pm

Instead of rabbit stew how about cat stew,

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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by Guest on Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:07 am

How about crispy cat eye balls, lean crumbed cat heart with a bit of brain juice for gravy. Topped with a rare delicicy of fried cat tongue?

OR

you could possibly do boiled cat brain with stomach stuffing, followed with minced up cat feet on the side.

Smile

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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by Guest on Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:28 am

oh oh oh and for a side you could have salted cat skin (with fur on or off- your choice).

And for desert you could make chocolate tail with caramal ears on the side.

(I think i'm thinking about this too much...oops.....tehe)

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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by Guest on Fri Sep 25, 2009 5:02 am

yes, i know i have issues...

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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by Guest on Fri Sep 25, 2009 5:20 am

hahaha qwerky

Razz

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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by Paddy on Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:13 am

Qwerky,

I'm both highly disturbed by, and very impressed with, your recipe ideas. I shall read them out to TBT, hehe. Wink cheers

I know someone who had his Birman cats tail tanned after the demise of the cat - he flew it from the radio aerial of his E-Type Jag. Some place near Foxton tanned it, I think. Foxtons within driving distance, TBT. So be warned. Razz

Today, we didn't steal bread.

Today, we stole a neighbours clothes pegs and carried them inside to Father. Several of them, all pink. They are so distinctively different to my ones, I shall have no choice but to give them back. Bah Humbug, cos I need more pegs, too.

Silly cat - get the inconspicuous ones next time. scratch
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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by daze7 on Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:21 am

because I'm slightly dyslexic I read 'birman cats tail tanned' as 'birman cats tail canned' ... and wondered if he'd ever eaten it ... Lol

and yes Qwerky - your recipes are far out! Good imagination there!

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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by Paddy on Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:23 am

You thought reading it was hard, Sis? You shoulda seen how many goes it took me to type it, pffft. Razz
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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by Paddy on Sat Sep 26, 2009 1:29 am

*Warning* This Post contains words stronger than Bah Humbug. And I mean them.

I really am getting a wee bit fed up with this cat, I gotta confess.

On a good night it takes me about 20 minutes or so, to ‘get into bed’ once I’ve made the Executive Decision to slope off there. None of that time involves face cream or anything like that. Its sheer hard yackker.

Success is measured by how quickly I can get the correct pillows and assorted lumps of foam into the right places to support various limbs n stuff without freezing to death, and then finding that miraculous possie where I’m not exactly comfy, but it’s not adding to the discomfort.

I’d turned the light off and was maneuvering around on a little foam pad trying to find a possie that didn’t offend my sciatica, when I heard an ‘odd’ noise. It didn’t come from me, ‘cos there was no swearing at that stage. That’s usually a good pointer as to whether I’m the source of odd noises or not in my little whare.

This ‘noise’ went on and on and sounded kinda plasticy in a Hounds of Baskerville kinda way. And no, TBT didn’t come when I called her. Then, the swearing noises started. That WAS me.

Remove assorted pillows, lumps of foam etc, grab the edge of the bed, try to roll to it, try again etc, and finally get in a state where feet I can’t really feel, are on the floor. I grab me crutch (sorry, ladies) throw on a robe and lurch off kitchen-wards.

Hello, TBT.

Why is the plastic bread bag containing several fresh bits of lovely toast slice multigrain bread, trapped in your teeth? So trapped in your teeth, that you were Busted, in the act?

Shaking your head like you were, doesn’t work. Believe me, I know. I was doing it too Cat and I still had to get on my hands and knees to release the bag from ya fangs. My back and assorted bits did not really enjoy doing that, cat.

Why was my bread, and my cat, in the middle of the kitchen floor, when I know my bread was on the bench when I last saw it and TBT was asleep on her sheepskin rug?

Why do you think you need my bread even more than I do, TBT? You eat better and far more often, than I do.

You have Whiskas Singles (a different flavour each day), you have Purina Biscuits, you have almost unlimited milk, you always get meat if I get some from the deli; in fact, you usually end up with a bit of just about anything I eat. Including bread, if I make sammies. And you are a yoghurt thief – I saw that, too, Cat.

I’ve sat there and quietly cracked up as you thought I wasn’t watching as you stole shortbread from a plate (I didn’t say anything, Cat, cos it reminded me of a little boy sitting behind his dads chair and ‘stealing’ sips of beer); but this time, TBT, you have gone too far.

You have to understand Cat that dragging my sorry ass outa bed to rescue MY kai from you, does not endear you to me.

You cost me a night’s sleep, two wasted sleeping pills and pain I didnt need more of, Cat and that’s a pretty high price to pay for your continued company, I gotta admit.

Shit, I’m sore today, but at least the bread is safely locked up in the microwave now. Bah Humbug, TBT.

Your luck is being tested puss – and I wouldn’t recommend pushing it a heck of a lot further in the next few days. Otherwise, I might just pretend I’m a telecommunications technician, and wring ya fucking neck. Evil or Very Mad
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Re: Recipe Ideas Please?

Post by Guest on Sat Sep 26, 2009 2:16 am

hey paddy, try some ideas from this - all you need is tape!

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=9b1_1205829994

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