just generally angry at the world :)

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just generally angry at the world :)

Post by imnotfallingapart on Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:05 am

Well i had the day off school today because yesterday i almost broke down in front of my english class and I'm so sick of people asking me what is wrong and being nosy and trying to be helpful. Now my folks are pissed at me and saying if i have another day off school i have to go back to counselling. NOT KEEN. Hate counsellors with a passion, they only make things feel worse for me, and yet my parents assume that sending me back there will magically make me happy and keen to go to school everyday. the shame of having to go to a counsellor to me is just another reason not to show my face at school. the thing is, they seem to think that they know what is best for me, when the only person who actually knows what i am going through is me. i know that if i had gone to school today would hav only pushed me even further towards being depressed again, and i know that having a break, with some time to myself and without having to face the curious stares of my class mates is much better for me than breaking down in front of a room full of "normal" kids, or locking myself in a toilet cubicle for an entire period. Besides, i wanted to quit school this year, and theyr the only ones who stopped me. they shouldnt expect me to jump out of bed every morning excited to be living long enough to go to school. the more time i spend in that hell-hole the more creative ways i think of killing myself. Mad

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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by britelite on Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:20 am

hi imnotfallingapart...welcome to our family

I see you are finding your way around without the grand tour Very Happy

school can be a very intense space...with kids watching each other all day long...some of them waiting for others to slip up just so they can rub their faces in it...then others who seem to be going all out to win a mother terresa award...and it can feel like they dont really give a shit what is going on with you they just want to be able to say that they fixed it...I can understand you wanting to take the day off today...every once in a while we simply need some personal space

please dont be to hard on your parents...they are most likely worried for you and they would have been told by 'the professionals' that seeing a counsellor will help you...and to be very honest you are in that horrid middle ground of age at 16...you are becoming an adult but your folks may well still be seeing you more as their little girl...it can be hard for parents to see/admit/accept that their babies grow up

one question if you dont mind answering...if you did quit school what are you hoping to do?...my daughter is 17...she left school at 16 and works at a small racing stable, she rides in the mornings and does farm work in the afternoons.
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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by imnotfallingapart on Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:28 am

your right about alot of things. it's nice to have people here understand what I am saying.
My main problem with my parents is that I know they are trying to do what is best for me, but if they would just for once listen to me, then they might work out what I really need, which is some support and understanding.

I am enrolling in a diploma in film-making course at SAE institute next year. I can't wait. it will be a nice change of scenery.

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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by britelite on Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:43 am

of course we understand what you are saying...just read a pile of other peoples post and...even the ones which look like a mass of gibberish...will make sense to you...it is because we are pretty much all stuck in the same type of headspace...and we all have our up days and our down days...but we are here for each other as best we can...when we can

a film-making course ae...that will be a lot of hard work...but I would imagine it will also be very interesting...and next year is only 5 months away...which when you are waiting can seem like an eternity but in truth is a very short time frame in the grand scheme of things.
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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by Guest on Wed Sep 02, 2009 4:20 am

BEing a teen with mh issues sucks. You have so much going on just being a teen, puberty, school, peers and peer pressure etc and finding your own place in the world.


Being 16 sux, as mylife pointed out you want to be seen as an aduclt yet parents still cling on the you as a youth.

I hope you can find a better headspace for a wee while.

Roswell

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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by imnotfallingapart on Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:40 am

grrrr thnx yea i hope so too.
dad's now got this whole "kates being a brat for not going to school" thing going on. any time i try to talk to him hes either giving me the silent treatment or casually mentioning yea well your not going to school any more. f*****************K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I give up. just wish i had somewhere else i could go to escape from these people. but dad wont let me get a job, so i have no money of my own. and dad wont let me buy a car so even though i have my lisence i cant go anywhere unless im home for mum to use the car. he keeps on pushing me away but theres nowhere for me to go! what the f**k does he want me to do? i wish he would just leave me alone and be a supportive father rather than someone who fights me on everything i want to do. the ironic thing is, he has always prided himself on not being a controlling parent, by letting me drink and get my lisence and letting me go to parties. ugh. i give up.

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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by britelite on Thu Sep 03, 2009 1:36 am

first off...thank you Roswell for mistaking me as mylife...I take that as a compliment Very Happy just hope ML doesn't mind hahaha

INFA...you have to remember that the male species is a very peculiar thing...however this would be my take on your dads behaviour...he is basically being protective...almost all men have very strong protection instincts towards their families...and these tend to be even stronger towards 'their' females...especially daughters!!...I have had this with my husband towards our daughter...and it has lead to a few big arguements/discussions between us...sorry hun but there is no quick fix to this...although their do seem to grow out of this phase over time...my only suggestion would be to see if you can have a talk with your mum about these issues...the job, the car, school, and your dads attitude to it all...see if between you both you can work out all the pros and cons of it...good luck
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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by imnotfallingapart on Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:56 am

Thank you. wow i wish i had found this forum earlier. it's so great to have people to talk to that i know will understand and not judge. iv been spending all day thinking how i couldnt wait to come back on here

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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by daze7 on Thu Sep 03, 2009 5:34 am

Hello INFA ..... (had to shorten it too!) One thing I've thought about is - does your school have a Counsellor - they can be helpful to talk to and maybe? she/he would suggest (or not!) a session with you and your Dad (or Mum and Dad) so everyone is clear about issues. Hope you're Ok today - good you're getting support from this site - and good to have you here.

Daze
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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by Guest on Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:02 am

Hey there

I am so pleased that you are enjoying the forum imnotfallingapart, it is a great area for us all.

I for one do not judge, and am happy to lend an ear. I have found it to be extremely supportive and the people here make the place (well, actually Paddy did, but you know what I mean!)

Yes dad's are protective, esp of their girls. Take it that he cares. But man it must be frustrating for you!

Keep us update ok missy?

BTW Brite, no I don't mind! I didn't think I was held with much respect here so it was nice to hear that you take it as a compliement! sunny

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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by imnotfallingapart on Wed Sep 09, 2009 2:02 am

things are getting steadily better. only 5 more weeks of school not including exams and i'm sending my appilcation to sae away today Very Happy Thank you for all your support, & btw daze7, i have tried the counsellors before. they workd for a time but i dislike telling strangers all about my personal life... although i guess that's what i'm doing here...?

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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by Paddy on Wed Sep 09, 2009 7:09 am

If I had not learned to demand help and demand to be listened to in 2006, including floods of tears and acres of pain with and in front of an ACC -Accredited SA Counsellor - then, this place wouldn't exist.

Talking is good, because we all have a voice and we all have the right for our voice to be listened to.

Trust me - Talking can save lives.

Oh yeah - 2006 - I was 46 years old when I started dealing with stuff properly and really talking and learning new strategies etc. I so wish I'd known years earlier that I didn't HAVE to hold it all in and all together and that it was OK to show and say that something was wrong. Talking can be damn good.

Whats my other priceless tip? Oh yeah.

Buy the softest tissues you can afford. Your face deserves that and when you're mopping up tears you'll remember my wise words and be grateful you listened.

Take care, eh? flower

Pat.
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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by Guest on Wed Sep 09, 2009 7:23 am

good advise Paddy,

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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by britelite on Wed Sep 09, 2009 9:03 pm

so good to hear that things are steadily getting better for you INFA I love you

and with so few weeks of classes left before exam leave it will be over before you know it...then you can start truely looking forward to your future
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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by imnotfallingapart on Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:22 pm

thanks heaps everyone - and thanks for all your great advice.

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Re: just generally angry at the world :)

Post by Guest on Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:49 am

I hope it helps you!!

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