Helping support partners

Thank you Pat for starting this forum. I feel partners of those suffering a mental illness are left out in the cold and having been there, with no support (that I knew of), I thought this maybe of great use . Partners need advise, they need to vent and who better to get advise and vent to, but those who struggle themselves. I know when I was supporting, my now ex partner, I would have loved to be able to talk with someone who knew what I was dealing with and now maybe because of you guys others may well be able to survive their relationships.

I am sure my partner come's in and spies... he won't say anything but the log intime is always different to when I last logged in...

Well you can look at it this way mylife, if he didn't care, he wouldn't bother looking.

yeah I know - but sometimes I just wish he didn't cause sometimes there are things that I just don't know that he is prepared to hear

i have to agree with peterpam on this one mylife - if he didnt care he wouldnt look - and he wouldnt look if he wasnt worried, concerned, looking for answers......seems like maybe you could give him the benefit of the doubt?
i think that sometimes we get given all this knowledge and support and the people who love us are kept out of it....let him in mylife....trust in him.....

Well said instillstanding.. Mylife, I guess a big part of why most people would visit this mm, would be that here you will find others that understand you, know, or can sypathise with your situation. Partners are in a simaliar situation, we need to listen, learn, before we can understand, and support you.. Your'e partner obviously loves you and more than likely is peeking to have more understanding, not spy on you, lol. Personally I wouldn't worry about him having a wee look, just warn him if you a going to vent about him. Oh and by the way venting is ok, we all do it and if he happens to stumble across it, he hopefully will understand it for what it is.

I tell all and share all with My partner.
Shes the tops.
We both suffer life when we get individually caught up in our minds
and what I learn she too is interested in,
just as i am Interested
in Her Wisdom.

I guess we are lucky

We ought to start a Lovers Page here in TBBDMB
as i think alot of depression is based on
deadening Love affairs of the heart!

Having Lost in Love
at sometime in our lives,
we gotta wonder
what Love really wants
of us individuals.

Im a believor in embodyment
rather than freedom.

oh GM, that is so beautiful. I am envious of your beautiful relationship with your wife. Long live the marriage.

It is great to have a supportive partner isn't it?

yes......
some marriages
work even when adultery happens!

Some ppl plan it that way
and Live happily together,
reminding each-other to take their raincoats
when going-out
singularly!
lol

There are many ways,
and Ive tried em all.

Marriage workX
the industrious way!

Your lucky when you met the right person and stay with them for the rest of your life.

I can remember the first time i told my partner how i truely was feeling. Unfortunately it didnt go down so well. He just said "im disappointed that you feel depressed, you have a good life and alot going for you, im dissappointed you chose to talk to complete strangers, im disappointed that you keep things from me" He then had heaps of questions such as 'is it me making you depressed? do you want a break from me, would you be better off if we split up etc etc" Hmmm that was some time ago but ill remembers his words forever as it only made me feel worse and i decided not to share anything else with him. Hes alot more supportive now but i dotn know who i feel sorry for more me or him. It sucks having these feelings and it sucks knowing that im making him depressed through me being depressed. Because i am unhappy and always sad and very very emotional and fragile i can not argue with him i just cry and have anxiety and panic attacks where i often cant breathe. He helps calm me down now and takes me through my breathing techniqes and can see that it is very serious and i do need his help. It is incredibly hard for partners because i can not enjoy life anymore even his life has changed to the point i dont want to go out or do the things which both used to enjoy (well he still does but i have no desire at all).

I have total respect and love for those who can understand and are supportive it isnt hard for us and it must be horrible for them too. Ok here come the tears.

partners don' t care. they just have one thing on their mind

getting their needs met?

It is very difficult for partners to survive in relationship,when one or Both Parties are suffering illness.

I have to agree gm, it is very hard. Chaos, maybe your'e partner may just feel this is one way they can show their love. Partners do care, they may however struggle sometimes and not know the best ways to deal with the situation. Hugs to you