Answers for partners

Wow, peterpam i am in tears reading your posts. When im feeling down i get so caught up in my own problems i find it hard to see it from my partners perspective! So thank you for sharing your words! On good days I have often found myself saying "you are my world, my everything, id be lost without you" but then on bad days i throw around that same line "how can i love you when i cant even lost myself or my new personal favourite, im not worthy of your love, go now before i pull you down with me" This probably wont make sense but i truely do believe i say both things out of love. However the positive things are where i truely want to be, truely want to say but the negative ones, i feel i have no control over and it something bigger then me that i can not fight. I am guilty of lashing out, have huge outbursts, terrible terrible anger issues. that i am really embarrassed about because thats not the real me, not the real me i watn to be anyway! Being on meds everyday has its good things and bad things and thats why meds aren't for everyone. When im on them i go through the day and days feeling ok. Not good. Not bad. But ok. Occasionally I want to feel the real highs and real lows not some sugar coated fairy tale make believe world i want to feel real and like everyone else! So thats why i stopped taking meds as i feel i get to a position when im ok and want to be great and think i can make it without them. Some people get to that stage then succeed and then others will stay on meds indefinately!
OK im side tracked now.

but thanks again for this post its given me the desire to want to understand my partner more and give him the love and respect he deserves for even wanting to put up with me! Look forward to hearing more from you!

Oh Claire, thankyou for listening. I was struggleing with shareing, in this thread, however something told me it was ok.
I dont want to make you cry, there is no need, cos beleive me, I have done enough of that for everyone. Wipes Claires tears away, gives hug.
What I would love for you and everyone else to understand is, that you are part of a team When you are down, your partner with be there for you, but when you are up, make them feel special, let them know how much you appreciate the help and support.
Claire I am so proud of you for making the connection.

Yes... a team...really can relate to what Claire is say,

Doesn't matter what we did yesterday, its what we do today that counts
Hugs to all you luffly people.

you are so right pp!

Thanks peterpam, i cry happy tears reading your posts - honest i do. I know im not a stupid person but i do stupid things. I really liked what you said about when im feeling good i should tell my partner and give him the love and attention he deserves and wait for it, needs. I get caught up in what i want and what i need that i fail to act on what he needs. I am trying to make sure im as supportive as he is. We are a team.

Mylife thank you for understanding my post, it makes sense to me but the more i try and talk about things the more it sounds confusing! hehe.

You are perfectly welcome claire bear!!

Claire,you sound like an amazing women, not at all stupid, so don't put yourself down. You have the tools hun, now you just need to use them. Good luck, you are awesome. Hugs

we are all amazing are we not?

Yep, you so are.

and you pp!

thanks mylife

you are perfectly welcome,

Group hug!

my partner is great and does his best to help. were together 2 yrs and he has only really known about my dep since xmas, as for sum reason it always pokes it ugly head out at xmas, deoression that it!!!
also i got attacked 4 months ago and have now got post traumatic stress sydrome, im on meds and doing ok.
only thing is i feel bad as my partner never knows wat kinda mood im going to be in when he gets home from work, i feel this is so unfair to him. im very paranoid and take it out on him. yesterday he made a sweet comment on how i didnt get shitty with him all day, this made me sad