Woppow

hear hear qwerky, well put!

Last night I spend the night at home. I slept!!!!! and I even made myself two ham and mayo sammies. which were good.

I have a feeling I will be going back into the unit soon.


I am sorry for worring you all.

Laters

Little chicky!!
You just have to understand that some of us could possibly be going throught the same type of thing you are.

We will all support you just like you have done for us in the past.

If you hate it so much by going to the unit- change something. Yes, I agree that it sounds impossible, but that's what you have to do.

You could apply for a job. You could join a club. You could start a hobbie, learn an instrument?
You could expand your mind and read about the world, animals, the weather, philosophy. There is so much out there.

You could volunteer somewhere maybe?
Something to keep you occupied as you know doing nothing makes you mind wander.

You could write a story, do a poem. Paint some pictures?

You could start a website, plant some flowers.
Gosh, there is just so much Lizzie.


If you do go back there, promise me- and everyone on TBBD- that you WILL stay. It is for your own safety, and you know that.

Look after yourself- you have to k.

Take care

Hey Guys

I thought I would try and keep everyone up to date, since EVERYONE has been such a huge support to me! Not just this week, but yeah. But I am sure if it wasnt for the people on here now I wouldnt have the guts to do what I am doing now - which is doing something I have never done before. I am actully asking for help. I have only ever asked for help once and I got shot down. Thats why this is sooo scary for me. and why I wasnt all that willing to put my hand up and say, hey I am not ok I need some help.

I am soo sorry for making you all worry this week. Half the time I didn't know what I was doing. Some of the stuff like lighting fires in town on Thrusday night I can't remember doing.

It's taken me a while. But I now see I am unwell.

I have put everyone thru hell this week, Mylife, Lizzie, Judy, Roswell. But even more you guys is my family. I am soo sorry to my mother. She doesnt desevre to have me as I am at the moment.

Thats another reason why I am finally singing out for help. I can't keep putting everyone thru what I have been putting them thru. Its just not fair.

gosh why can't life be easy? But its not. So I just guess I got to get back on my feet with the help that I have been given and try to get to the point where I can cope living at home. and not go out and try to jump in front of trains or cars.

There must be a reason I haven't died yet. Altho I cant see it atm. There must be. I am still alive, still able to do everything for myself. Looking on it, there are people far more worst off then me alive and living an ok life. So hey you never know whats going to happen tomrw. I could get sick and died. or I could win Lotto.

I still have the feeling of people after me. I still know I am meant to find a code because I have been chose to. But the person who is trying to send me this code knows I am in the unit. and they will put it in the paper. so I dont need to run away to check the internet for the code.

I am eating, and drinking like a normal person once again . Althought PMH(the hospital I am in) Is the worst in chch for food. But now I am on my fourth free coffee from the cafe, and back in the unit they now have a coffee maker, I think I have had 17 cups already . But only 6 smokes today .

I am out of HDU. which is probaly the best part. because now I get to lying around on the couchs like the other youths. I am even allowed 30 mins leave by myself. - which at the moment I am too scaried to take. So yeah.

So for now I am just going to stay in hospital. Work with the nurses and doctors. and try to find out some how of being able to cope without feeling the need to throw myself under a train.


Once again guys I am truely sorry for putting you all through what I have over the last week.

Lots of Love lizzie
(thanks BB for posting this on my behalf)

p.s if you have my cell number I still have both my cells. they didnt check my pockets when I went into the unit. so I have them hiden in my room. - Its not like Its a blade or a lighter. I just feel the need to be able to be contacted. But I wont txt back straight away like normal.

Thank you Bluebird for posting this from woppow, appreciate it.

Woppow, I am so pleased you are getting the help that you need. Once you are through this you will know that you are worth it and people do care enough to help.

Take care my friend,

Mylife

I'm very very proud of you Wop!!

Stay strong- You're doing something brilliant right now and we can all see it. We are all smiling for you!

I am proud of her too, she is going to do so well!

Hey,

Good on you for gettign help. It is not an easy journey.

Remember we are here for you.

Ha.

They said it was only a crisis admission and told me I was sweet to go home. And I cant keep working with them. I had to go coz my time was up.


Last night, I gave myself a hair cut. and then lit a fire on the baseball court. I thought it was a sign coz there was a dead plant there. and coz I found a pair of scissors. But then after I had a deep talk with my nurse she was super happy that I was talking about it in stead of lighting another fire or doing something else. But Hey I am out. - and I even said I dont want to be discharged, I want help. they said if I still feel a risk to myself in 24hours I could come back for another 48 hours. - this is why I dont try and get help

Hey, I hope you'll be ok

i hope you will be too woppow,

We do care for you - remember that!

Hmm, Tonight will be trying.

There is a way I could top myself. Its fool proof. and I am alone.
Not a good mix.

woppow,

don't do this to us, I am so selfish because I want you around!

Hmm, all that I can say is damn you bike!!!

For those who dont know. I came off my BMX bike yesterday. For the second time. First time the handle bars folded down as I went over a jump. This time I was biking home from the shops. And before I knew it I was on the ground. My bike just stopped. Nothing got caught in the wheel, it just stopped. My knee was bleeding bad. my other knee was skinned, My wrist was painfully. My hands were gazed. I was in a mess. I walk my bike home it took me 15mins! No-one I knew was able to come and pick me up.
Once I got home I started crying. there was blood over my shoes, socks. hands. 10mins later my mum comes home and takes me to my GP to make sure the cut was clean. It was. GP said she could put a few stitches in my knee, This I wasnt keen on. and she said it would heal fine.
I have to keep off it as much as I can. Not easy when all I want to do is get moving. and tiding.
I went back to the doctors today. to get it re dressed. Because I was unable to bend my knee she sent me off to get an xray. It came back fine.
But there might still be some damage. So lucky me I get Crutches!

I am over this pain. It hurts like hell. And its just

Awww, Lizzie, you poor thing. Lots of TLC and hugs to you. Judy