Once upon a time

I don't really feel that today though!!

I hope so too because it made me very sad and upset.

ok I think. I'm not sure... but at least I remembered my med this morning (I forgot it yesterday).

I am not as confused and upset as I was last night. My poor boys and husband, seeing me like that.

How are you BB?

8 & 9 - only 14 months between them. And yes of course I would.

haha

yes they are arguing alot with each other...hehehe

As she walked away from Procare she started to think back to her journal she had written and what was in it.

Would it shock this little lady who interviewed her? Will she judge me? What will the next one be like??

Hmm..

She thought back to where she had left her journal - her wedding night and remembered how keen both of them were to get to bed, only to find she had about a thousand pins in her hair, and man they could not get them out quick enough!!

The next morning came around to quick for their liking.. they just wanted to stay in bed and relax - but couldn't - the bridal party would be there soon for brunch and to see the presents getting opened. Plus they had to do some last minute packing for their honeymoon!

Their guests arrived, but there was someone missing - the best man and his wife!

Pete phoned them to find that she had given birth that morning 10 weeks early - so they had a good enough excuse.

Midnight quickly came and they boarded the plane. They were off on their honeymoon and in for a long flight - around 12 hours. Beth had never flown oversea's before, so she was pretty darn excited. They had both taken the homeopathic remedy 'no doze' so when they landed they would not be tired.

They didn't count on all of the shutters in the plane being closed due to the long sunrise they would be subjected to. They were the only one's in the plane not tired, couldn't turn on the lights because everyone else was sleeping. Instead Beth wrote out their thank you cards in semi darkness. She planned to send them when they landed.

They left midnight March 2nd, and landed 2pm March 2nd.

She felt good when her feet landed on American soil, wow, LA, wow, disney land, wow what a honey moon!!!

She was happy, giggly and not tired..

They were away for 21 days and she was going to enjoy herself.

27 August 2009

Nervously Beth arrived at Procare with Peter, for her second appointment. As she sat in the waiting room, she hoped they had forgotten her appointment and she could go.

Beth? Said the 4 foot pin with a smile, would you like to come down?

Bother, they remembered, she thought as she walked down the corridor, Peter by her side. How an earth did I get like this? What an earth happened to my life? When did I loose control?

I have to hold it together, Beth thought.

They sat down, Beth opposite the 4 foot pin, and Peter beside her.

"How's your week been?"

"I was a little drained and upset after the last appointment. I have been better since although I still have some bad thoughts - just not as often" Beth replied

Ok.

The conversation progressed, "we are going to concentrate on your self esteem" the 4 foot pin stated "once we get that under control, and change a few things in your day to day life, you might find you are a little happier" she was smiling and friendly, and Beth started to feel alittle more at ease and started to relax a bit. She took a deep breath and listened to what the 4 foot pin had to say..

She felt alot more confident when she left. Her palms weren't sweaty and she felt ok about holding Peters hand (last time they were so sweaty she didn't want to hold hands with him, but still did).

Ok, so she had three objectives now - make sure she takes a lunch break every day at work, go for a small walk each day at lunch time, and a small walk after work each day. Her me time. Oh yes, she needed to treat herself every so often too... so that was four.

Apparently that might make her feel better within herself.

And another thing, while she felt on the up and up, she needed to get into the ACC councilling.



29 August 2009

After going to a funeral of a good friend (the first friend to go) Beth opened the mail. Ugghhh... the ACC form ... bother umm well I had better fill it in this weekend.

It was in the mail, complete, first thing on August 31.

Good on you mylife!! Sounds like you are doing so well, and I agree with Bluebird, you are a very brave lady