........................

are yu writing these peoms?
cuz there amazing.

yep all me, thank you
i have read somewhere that art only comes from pain not happiness, so maybe that has something to do with it

Well, your art might come from pain, but trust me, it brings light. So there.

How can we move you closer to your own light, so its warmth bathes and protects you too? 'Cos its quite some light you cast, iss.

thank you Paddy - thats really nice of you to say - and im tryin, im tryin!!

i was actually reminded of a quote the other day from my favourite novel...
"at the end of my search i wanted to be able to say: i dont know how i could have tried harder"
- and as im still breathing, it's my responsiblity to keep trying!!

how are you today iss

i was just wondering: how do i define apathy when i just dont care?

I use the word 'meh'

basically sums it up when I'm feeling like that

meh is an ok word, until recently i just swore!

..

I have found from experiance that my mind blocks events, as it is starting to now, again,.

But they do come back at them most in opportune times. Be wary if this happens to you ok?

Look after yourself.

..o.n and ..o.n and ..o.n
d.own and d.own and d.own
drown and drown and drown

I saw a movie where one of the main characters - the bad guy - did what people expected, showed what people wanted to see, told them what they wanted to hear so he could 'cheat his way through his life'.
Ive done that, im doing that. How much easier is it to do so than tell people, show people what will only scare them, anger them, worry them.
Ive been cheating for so long, i dont even know what is real sometimes.
Surely, if i can convince someone else, i can convince myself? 'im happy', 'im fine', 'i dont go to bed praying i wont wake up'.
Its funny, who you see parts of yourself in - books, movies...but its never the 'nice' one - im always the outsider, the cheat, the fraud. The one even i hope will be killed off in the next chapter, the next episode...

how do we measure time? not the day to day minutes and hours, but the passage of our lives...is it measured in the moments, the tragic and ecstatic, or the spaces in between? sometimes its those seemingly empty times that change us the most.....
yet, how do those minutes matter when life itself seems at times so pointless? to rouse oneself to live those hours can sometimes be harder than living life at all......
i think happiness is fleeting because it is light, and the slightest breeze will blow it away, tear it from your hands. sadness however, weighs heavily, and no gusts will shift it. the longer it remains, the more strength it saps, making it even harder to shift. heavier and heavier it becomes, forcing the striken to their knees, unable to lift even their heads, being slowly, slowly crushed from within